Top 5 Worst People at a Heavy Metal Show

Categories: Useless Lists

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Mike Rice
Imagine the taste of that hair in your mouth.

By and large, the heavy metal community boasts fans that are passionate, fun individuals that know how to cut loose. Metal fans have shown themselves to be some of the most supportive and loyal of any genre, sometimes sticking by bands despite years of subpar albums, major lineup changes, and childish, public infighting (We're looking at you, big 4).

Despite all of this positivity, metal shows are an environment that breed some unbelievably obnoxious behavior: Drinks are flowing, there's encouraged mayhem everywhere, and etiquette is often lost in the aether of blast beats and tremolo-picked shred. And God dammit, you're all grown-ups and we're getting real tired of your shit. So, here's a list of the five worst people you'll find at every metal show. Stop it.

1. The Mosh Bro
It's 2014. Not every heavy metal fan lives his or her life in a black uniform or a relic of a Cannibal Corpse shirt, and obviously that's fine. However, odds are if there's a dude at the metal show and he's rockin' a pair of those plaid "underwear on the outside" shorts, he's going to be a pain in the ass until security gives him the boot or some Undertaker looking motherfucker squashes him.

This dude's shirt will be off by the second track of the set and he's going to try really hard to get you to mosh, no matter how far away from the splash zone you are. This is most likely because this individual doesn't go to shows frequently and is so overwhelmed by the sights and sounds that he simply cannot control the testosterone rushing into his sheltered, suburban brain, and will mosh anything in reach.

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