Ten Ways You Know You're Too Old for This Club

Categories: Heads Up

3. You can only identify Modest Mouse, New Order, or R Kelly songs playing.
Or basically anything that came out before 2005. If you say, even once, "my niece loves this song!" it's your job to gather your things and exit.

4. "The drinks are too expensive."
And you announce this opinion loudly with a grimace, to the annoyance of the bartenders and children waiting for a tallboy behind you.

When you were young, you bought whatever was cheap. Now you're buying shit you actually enjoy drinking and, "Isn't this a little pricey? This place used to be so affordable." Time for bath and a date with Calgon (you still got some, cause you're old like that).

5. You taught most of the band performing or know their moms.
When you fit in at the club, you'd slept with most of the band. They were maybe a little older or a little younger than you. But now, these young'uns with drum sticks guys come up, not to remind you of your steamy night on the beach, but rather to say, "I'm taking your class again this semester, Professor OldFace!" And "My mom says hi!" Just sigh, grab your drink, and scan the crowd for another kindred gray-haired spirit.


You can relate.

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5 comments
Shawn Weaver
Shawn Weaver

We are not old. .its just your music sucks..now pull up you pants

smdrpepper
smdrpepper topcommenter

Nice to know agism is alive and well. 

Alex Castro
Alex Castro

Pretty much pertains to 98% of the people you see on Las Olas...

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