Ten Ways You Know You're Too Old for This Club
3. You can only identify Modest Mouse, New Order, or R Kelly songs.
Or basically anything that came out before 2005. If you say, even once, "My niece loves this song!" it's your job to gather your things and exit.
4. "The drinks are too expensive."
And you announce this opinion loudly with a grimace to the annoyance of the bartenders and children waiting for a tallboy behind you.
When you were young, you bought whatever was cheap. Now you're buying shit you actually enjoy drinking and shouting, "Isn't this a little pricey? This place used to be so affordable."
Time for mud mask and a date with Calgon (which you still have, cause you're old like that).
5. You taught most of the band performing or know their moms.
When you fit in at the club, you'd slept with most of the band. They were maybe a little older or a little younger than you. But now, these young'uns with drum sticks come up, not to remind you of your steamy night on the beach, but rather to say, "I'm taking your class again this semester, Professor OldFace!" And "My mom says hi!" Just sigh, grab your drink, and scan the crowd for another kindred gray-haired spirit.
You can relate.