Ten People You'll See While Partying in Fort Lauderdale
8. The jogger
For some reason, around 11 p.m. on a Saturday night, there's always someone jogging down Las Olas. It's unclear whether this person is lost or enjoys burning extra calories weaving in and out of hoards of drunken zombies.
Invest in a treadmill, please. You just sweated into my craft beer.
9. The lighter-less smoker
The lighter-less smoker approaches with a full pack of cigarettes, a Marlboro T-shirt, and a tattoo that says, "I love smoking."
Yet he always asks you for a light. Get your act together, man! You can spend twelve bucks on American Spirits but you don't have time to buy a 99 cent lighter? Get an e-cigarette you unprepared moocher.
10. The wannabe flair bartender
Photo by JoeInQueens via Wikipedia Commons
He's juggling limes, twirling around a bottle opener, shaving a hint of white truffle over the rim of your glass. This guy's Facebook page definitely has the word mixologist somewhere on it.
That's all good and nice, buddy, but I ordered a Bud Light. So can you stop lighting shit on fire and hand me my beer?