Pool Party's Creep Guirdo Does Not "Give a Hell"

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Ms. Chambers

It is no secret that Pool Party is one of our favorite part-time South Florida resident bands. It is also no secret that I am not funny. Two ex-wives and three State of Florida judges will attest to that; but not unlike my Corsican mother, County Grind oils its wheels on perseverance and patience.

It's 2014 and another backyard BBQ falls upon us, so we turn to the fellest beast of the fell beasts in Pool Party for some answers... Will answers be revealed? Probably not. Will Walter Mercado prepare you breakfast tomorrow? Not unless Telemundo owes you some scratch. Will Roman sandals clear the Fashion Poet's berm? Well, that's up to Pizza Hut, isn't it? We chatted with the singer Creep Guirdo last night after his band's Churchill's show.

What is the technical difference between being "born too loose" and "born to lose?"
I'm really glad you asked. It's not some sort of typographical typo. We are not losers. We are very loose. Musically and spiritually we are loose and slutty.

This upcoming EP seems to be more fully charged sexually than previous efforts. What was the catalyst for this change in mentality? Has Pool Party finally embraced its "sex appeal?"
We've gotten really good at sex, and we are not ashamed to admit it. We kiss and embrace our sex appeal every day.

In February of last year you asserted that "Crocs were shoes." Is that fallacious way of thinking still true for you? How do you feel about those Roman sandals the ladies seem so keen on?
If I said "Cros were shoes" that was taken completely out of context. Crocs are caca; plastic, smelly, unsexy caca. These Roman sandals sound like a reason to dump a girl, if a lady I am in date with decides to put these on her feet, I will leave her stranded at the Pizza Hut.

It's my understanding that "Bad Boy Jam" was originally going to be part of an 'N Sync tribute album. What happened to that project and what other tributes to boy bands of yesteryear can we expect?
I misunderstood what the concept behind the comp was -- I thought it was a bad-boy bands tribute, not a bad boy-band tribute. Anthony Fatone didn't like our song, it was too tough, I guess. I stopped caring about the project once I understood its actual concept. The only boy-band we'd participate in tributing is the Vindictives, and we put our song in for that one over a year ago.


"Bad Boy Jam"

Listening to that track it's also clearly evident that the "traditional" alphabet is something Pool Party either doesn't care for or rather, wishes to utilize for its own devious purpose. Explain that and tell us what kind of alternative math you guys use while doing your taxes.
I am not going to crack my secret code for you -- but, I will tell you D always means dick, and dick is always for your sexual loved one. In my tax return I draw dicks any time the letter D appears.

What exactly could a bunch of folks from Indiana know about flamingoes and their nosebleeds?
They do have a very cocainy and neon bright sound. I imagine the name came to them on crack fueled vision quest -- the same way inspiration comes to us.

What can we expect from the upcoming album Pool Party: Pool Party III: Pool Party Number One?
We pull the veil off of a few PP secrets. Did you know our bassist Dick Dumb has a PhD in psychotherapy? You will on this next album. Did you know that Hand Gloveless is immortal? This album will tell you that. Did you know that "Inner" Toobs Malloy sings like a sweet Jesus angel? Now you will. Did you know that I don't give a hell? I don't give a hell.

Pool Party with Flamingo Nosebleed and Nervous Attachments at Propaganda, 6 S J Street, Lake Worth. $5, 18+. Call 561-547-7273 or visit propagandalw.com.

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