Justin Bieber: Five Possible Replacements

Categories: Bieber Fever

Justin_Bieber_Mugshot_Miami_Beach_2014.jpg
Miami-Dade Corrections

It's pretty safe to say that yesterday must have been a humbling experience for the young Justin Bieber. He learned a thing or two about driving on Miami Beach, about the level of cop power they have down there, and that drag racing in a relatively wealthy neighborhood is a straight-up stupid idea.

But who hasn't acted like a load of crap when they were 19? Not us; we're perfect. That's why we, along with every other person in the world, plan on judging the shit out of Bieber. Presumably, parents will be blocking all things Biebs from their computers (they can do that, right?) and looking for the next clean young thang in music to pander to their tweens.

So let's assume right now that Justin Bieber's career is over. He's like fucking Juliette Barnes, but IRL. Thus, we decided to start our own search for the appropriate Bieb-alike to replace the fallen star. We took into consideration talent and hair. Continue for Bieb Part Deux.

See also: Justin Bieber to Arresting Officer: "What the Fuck Did I Do?"

Before we begin, there's this:

Think about it a moment, and let's move along.


1. Austin Mahone
Well, this one is really a no-brainer. Austin Mahone is totally early Biebs. He's wholesome with the tiniest edge. Just enough to get the young lasses squealing with wonderment. Mahone's got a lot of magnetism too, and talent. He can sing and dance. He's no Chris Brown, but he just may be a Justin Bieber.

These aren't the only Biebery qualities he has that are necessary to replace this prince of pop. He has good hair, and he's living in Miami. So when he becomes as big as Bieber, he'll know drag racing in a busy tourist area is a no-no. Drag racing period is a no-no. Come on, now.

Also, he just started working out, so, by the time he's like 18, he just might be a delightful beefcake with talent, beating Bieber for top dawg in a teenybopper world.

See also: Austin Mahone Says Miami Was "the Perfect Place for Me"



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3 comments
Dino MacabreEnt
Dino MacabreEnt

Jackass Justin IS NOT A FN MUSICIAN, GET IT! Never has been never will be.

Liz Tracy
Liz Tracy

An Horse Greyson Chance Elyar Fox Tegan and Sara Austin Mahone

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