Top 20 Signs You Spend Too Much Time in Fort Lauderdale

Categories: Talking Shit

9. You are a girl, and you urinate by the train tracks coming out of Green Room (now referred to as Stache) on the reg to avoid long lines.

10. You have a legitimate "OMG, I was trolling so hard at the Edge this one time" story.

11. You've been beaten up by bouncers at Blondie's.

12. Speaking of scuffles, you've gotten in a few skirmishes with drunken frat guys at Fat Cat's.

13. You've never missed one of Fort Lauderdale's infamous walks. Like SantaCon is more important to you than Christmas itself, and you already have makeup set aside for next year's Zombie Walk. And the Day of the Dead? Well, that's just a sacred day for you.

14. Your grandparents lost a fortune in a Ponzi scheme.

15. You didn't own one single piece of vinyl last year, but now thanks to recommendations from Radio-Active's Mikey Ramirez, you've amassed a respectable collection.

16. You were an extra in Flight of the Navigator and/or Rock of Ages.

17. You are still talking about how great Roxannes was and still receive texts from that one goth guy you had a one-night stand with that you met there.

18. You sincerely believe FAT Village to be the next Wynwood.

19. You are into cosplay (or are a furry) and can easily find a cosplay event or two to attend every week.

20. While on the subject of kinky, you've openly made fun of swingers but have secretly been to a fetish party, engaged in an S&M sesh with complete strangers, actually enjoyed it, and now own a pair of skin-tight latex pants.

Bonus: You have sold artwork/T-shirts/puppets/hot dogs at a pop-up craft show.

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Follow Alex Rendon @AlexAnomalous


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1 comments
Shawn Weaver
Shawn Weaver

Yea these hipsters wear their grandparents clothes but forgot thier workethic

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