The Six Worst Drug-Seekers You'll Meet at a Concert
Ian Witlen Pookie head, I no want your drugs.
We've all been there. You're standing in the crowd, just trying to enjoy a show. Then you get a tap on the shoulder, and suddenly, you're a drug dealer! You've been thrust into an illegal interaction by some creep with a hankering for Molly, Tina, or Mary Jane, depending on the performing act.
It happens a lot, and it's about as annoying as that girl in front of you who dances like a chicken and won't put down her phone. If that scenario sounds at all familiar, chances are you've had to deal with at least one of the following pain-in-the-ass concertgoers who were jonesing for some druging. Read on.
The David Blaine
He values secrecy over everything, and he's spent years perfecting the art of not getting noticed. He's got all the sleight of hand moves down: The $20-bill-handshake, the fist-bump-knuckle-transfer, the ass-slap-crack-grab, the under-the-tongue-make-out-pill-swap.
Pretty soon he's just going to make two pills materialize out of your asshole, and twenty minutes later you'll find $40 in your left pocket.
How did he do that?
The Pawn Star
$30? Best he can do is $12 and a half-eaten churro he picked out of the trashcan in Rhianna's dressing room. This guy will haggle until the show is over, and he seems to oddly enjoy it.
But more often than not, his greed is his downfall, and now the only way he'll catch a buzz is if he can get close enough to the stage to get a contact-high from Snoop Dogg (Snoop Lion? Snoop Abdul-Jabbar? Can't keep up with these names).