Miley Cyrus Wants to Corrupt Ariana Grande
In an interview with the New York Times, Cyrus talked about an encounter with human equivalent of a gourmet miniature cupcake, Ariana Grande, saying:
"I don't have a bunch of celeb friends, because I feel like some of them are a little scared of the association. This is terrible. I was backstage with Ariana Grande. I'm like, "Walk out with me right now and get this picture, and this will be the best thing that happens to you, because just you associating with me makes you a little less sweet."
If by "a little less sweet" you mean at risk for contracting several diseases once thought eradicated, then sure, Miley.
But Cyrus didn't stop there. No, the actress-turned-singer-turned-first-sign-of-the-apocalypse won't be satisfied until Grande is walking the streets in a rubber band.
"She's trying. I see her wearing the shorter things. She comes in, and she goes, 'This made me feel like you.' And I'm like, 'That was like my sixth grade prom dress.' She's, I think, still on Nickelodeon. She has people that she has to kind of respect."
Photo by Sayre Berman
I think these people Miley speaks of are called dignity and self-respect.
Shame on you, Cyrus! Do you know how little Florida has to be proud of? Do you know what Floridians call a day when a man's face is eaten, a girl punches a puppy, and an unarmed teenager gets shot? Tuesday!
Please, Miley, just leave us Ariana. Without her, all we have is Pitbull and Fred Durst.