Jingle Ball 2013: Miley's Five New, Ratchet Holiday Traditions
Have you been naughty or nice this year?
And no, Miley, no one is asking you. Because it doesn't take Santa's omniscience to know you've been a very bad girl. This year, we've seen your flat booty more times than we've seen our mother's face. So you're getting a sexy stocking full of black coal. Of course, you must have some kind of machine that turns coal into diamonds. That's what the whole bad-bitch shtick is about, right? Getting money?
Now, just in time for the holidays, Ms. Cyrus is comin' to dance for that cash as headliner of this year's Jingle Ball pop spectacular. And judging from the tour's kickoff in New York, we think this will be one unholy night.
Miley might twerk on Santa.
That's exactly what she did in New York, anyway. To open her set, America's favorite Disney girl gone bad "shocked" the crowd by taking the stage with her butt cheeks flyin' free in a devilish Santa-inspired string bikini. And she didn't waste no time neither, and got backin' that ass up all over the jolly ol' soul. Childhood memories were tainted forever when Saint Nick's round belly shook like a bowlful of jelly. Shame is for the weak. Ho, ho, ho.