Shutdown at Least Stimulates the D.C. Bar Economy

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This is what U Street looked like at 5 p.m. Tuesday.

The government shutdown has left many federal employees well-rested and ready to imbibe barrels of alcoholic beverages. The Washington Post even listed spots in the D.C. area where government IDs will score them cheap booze and other deals, and the list is long.

One furloughed employee is just glad to not be complaining about how little sleep she's getting and actually just sleeping in. "I slept till like noon today. I'm still tired, but at least I'm not at work," she explained, yawning. After her second nap of the day, she plans on filling out job applications. "I might as well look for work. I mean, I have all this time."

Others less inclined toward sloth are taking to the streets and using the Post's list wisely. "If I'm not getting paid, I should be getting drunk," another told us. "And thank God I can get a free doughnut at Astro Doughnuts and Fried Chicken. I mean, I have to buy a doughnut to get a free one, but whatever works."

Even NPR got in on the action, posting some of the best #govtshutdownpickuplines that Twitter has to offer. One public radio listener was psyched that he could perhaps get some "poontang" with the following line:

He added, "I don't actually work with the TSA, but fuck it! Times are tough."

Another DOJ employee is confident the shutdown will last long enough that she can catch James Murphy's DJ set at 9:30 Club this Friday. "I know it's on a Friday, but normally, I'm exhausted after an eight-hour day punching shit into my computer. I'm thinking this week I'll be up to it, though." But she is worried that blood will be shed over tickets. "It's James Murphy, and everyone'll be ready to party after a week off. You gotta remember, these are the most competitive, angry nerds this nation has to offer," she said, biting her nails. She spent this afternoon sipping mimosas and planning her outfits for the weekend.

Many of those at home, though, are antsy and worried about when they'll be able to wrap up projects, like important ones that involve the buying and selling of weapons. "No one's going to wait around for Boehner to figure his shit out. People need guns. And they need them now."

The shutdown will limit paychecks but most definitely stimulate the bar economy.

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