Chris Brown Is Painfully Tacky, But Always Cooler Than Drake, Even When It Comes to Aaliyah

Categories: Essay This

chris-brown-puppies.jpg

No one can deny that Chris Brown is a dude seriously committed to tackiness. But as a Breezy apologist of sorts, we gotta say, he's always less tacky than Drake.

Yeah, Drake dresses more subtly, doesn't get stupid rowdy every time he gets side-eye at da club, and he didn't tat a pic of his ex that he beat up on his neck. But he did tattoo Aaliyah on his back, and that whole obsession is more than a teeny bit creepy.


For all the embarrassingly crappy Chris Brownisms, you have to admit, he's just so much cooler than Drake.

His new song, "Don't Think They Know," off his upcoming album X features previously unreleased vocals by Aaliyah. The video is shamefully dorky, with weird holograms of the late songstress and Brown looking like the kindest sweetheart in the hood, flanked by cutie kids, complete with a peaceful drive-by.

But no matter what way you slice this corny cake, this tune batters Drake's "Enough Said," which also includes Aaliyah's voice.

We gotta address that this is an R&B tune and Drake's Aaliyah song is him rapping with an Aaliyah hook. Her singing is better complemented by Brown's voice than by Drake's rhymes.

It's like Chris Brown is so pop that even if he pretends to be hard (which he does), it's fine, it's a forgivable act. Like a Donnie Wahlberg type of hard. But Drake is so soft that when he raps about "real niggas" it makes us blush.

Now back to the video. It starts with this quote: "Every two hours in America today a child dies of a gunshot wound." We like this new socially conscious Breezy!

And then, there's another, this one tragically missing an apostrophe and comma:
"Unity is what we are afraid of so fear is insanity, so lets love each other." Yes! Let's love, Chris Brown!

And then there's this tweet he put on the Tweeter:


Hell, yeah! Chris Brown may be a poorly-dressed asshole, but we'd take him any day over Drizzy.

Either way, catch Drake with Miguel and Future, November 5, at American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. Visit aaarena.com.





Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Events

Clubs

Loading...