Top Ten Best and Worst Fashions of Tortuga Music Festival

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Alex Markow
What in the hell does a cowgirl wear to the beach? What about a salty dog out to impress the sandy bitches (don't pretend you're offended, you know what we mean).

These were the main folk populating Tortuga Music Festival this weekend. They chugged beer and sunbathed to a crisp on a fairly long strip of beach, sandwiched between two stages of live, mostly country, music, in Fort Lauderdale. Though most dressed in fairly plain beach attire -- bikinis and jean shorts, trunks and tees -- not everyone at the fest was a plain Jane.

Here's our list of the top 10 notable fashions we spotted at the inaugural Tortuga Music Festival.

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Alex Markow
10. Turtle-maid
Tortuga took place on the placid shores of the Atlantic, so, of course some fierce ass mermaids, like this one, swam ashore. It was like freaking Splash out there!

Also, the fest was put on by Rock the Ocean to teach people about turtle and sea-life safety. The message was loud and clear: Protect the water so this turtle-maid can eat more lollipops!

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Alex Markow
9. Stuper-stache
This guy's got the whole salty dog gone hipster thang going on. Only thing that's weird, it seems that's an actual cigar, and not a blunt. Get with the beach-prog, brah.



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