Five Theories Behind the Real Reason Jay-Z and Beyoncé Went to Cuba





3. Castro Is Dead and Blue Ivy Was Named His Successor
Before he died and his death was covered up (or so we believe), Fidel was always a weird fucking guy. And his intense inability to avoid croaking at all costs was preceded by an evolving period of advancing senility. 

Remember that time he went on and on to the Atlantic about dolphins while attending an impromptu private visit to the local aquarium? Besides, the whole damned world knows all about the dictator's hairy-palmed penchant for "Crazy in Love." Look, is the suggestion that Beyoncé's baby has been named the next fascist Leviathan of the island nation of Cuba really that unreasonable?



2. Tupac Granted the Couple an Audience
The best argument we've heard for why Fidel is not secretly dead is that we're sure in the aftermath of his passing, the world will come to learn a great deal of about the tyrant's ultra-hush-hush covert activities. For example, hosting Tupac while he lives in exile hiding from Suge Knight. Which would explain why the Hovs dropped in. Jay wanted to see if he could rent Makaveli's hologram for his tour with Justin Timberlake.



1. Jay-Z and Beyoncé Are Members of the Illuminati
And part of being members of the Illuminati is being allowed to go to places like Cuba. How else do you think Dennis Rodman made it to North Korea?


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2 comments
Seth Platt
Seth Platt

I am not everyone nor upset, give me a ticket too, and screw the repressive old guard Cubans.

Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore

Here is a theory..Maybe they are super rich and can go anywhere in the world even to places we all cant go to...hhhmmmm maybe??

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