The Six Bad Bitches You Meet at Ultra Music Festival

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Damn, Ultra Music Festival is a mad house. Everywhere you look, it's neon titties, the bottom half of an ass, or some kind of sexy rabbit hoppin' around with a lollipop in her cheek.

Last year, we introduced "The Seven Ravers You Meet at Ultra Music Festival." But this time, we're giving it up to the ladies.

Only a special kind of woman can brave the downtown Miami masses for three days. And maybe even six. It takes guts, hutzpah, but not a whole lot of clothing.

Here are the six bad bitches you meet at Ultra. Keep your hands to yourself, trick.

See also
- Top 13 Hardcore Ravers at Ultra 2013 in Animated GIF!
- 75 St. Paddy's Day Leprechauns at Ultra 2013
- Ultra 2013: Top Ten (Almost) Naked Raver Bros

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The Down-Ass Bitch
This girl leaves the weed pasties and glitter sticks at home. She'd rather shock you with her wild sense of humor and make you think. But that doesn't mean she can't party. On the contrary, she's one bad-ass motherfucker, and she'll drink you under the table. She's here to see acts like Crystal Castles and Borgore and other dark, edgy shit no mere bro can handle without a license to ill. What she can't stand is all you drunk assholes wandering around, unable to handle your drugs and beers. Fucking babies.

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The 'Mericuh Bitch
A big part of UMF is the parade of flags, not that it's an organized aspect of the festivities. But basically everyone reps their home country. Even those of us who didn't have to bother with customs to be here. In fact, Americans like to show off the most. That's why these proud suffragettes adorn their whole bodies in Americana. Damn, Betsy Ross, stars and stripes can be hot! These chicks are ready for that Tiësto, that Benny Benassi, that Major Lazer. But they're not that excited about expensive Ultra drinks. This is the U.S.A. and it should be ladies night every night!

Location Info


Bayfront Park

301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, FL

Category: General

Klipsch Amphitheater at Bayfront Park

301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, FL

Category: Music

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