Justin Bluntin' Bieber Booed by Fans in London for Being a Tardy Pothead

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If Justin wants to regain the trust of his fans, he needs to put down the blunts and pick up a day planner.
And the downward spiral continues!

If we described an international music sensation who was addicted to drugs, consorting with "hos" in different area codes, and showing up to concerts late, who would you think we were talking about? Axl Rose or Justin Bieber?

Believe it or not, it's the Biebs, who is presently in pop-culture's timeout chair for being an increasingly petulant bajillionaire postteenaged pampered poodle. And the only way he'll turn his career around is if he stops smoking reefer!

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We've never even seen marijuana before. So we can't profess to be experts.

But having lived in the Magic City most of our lives and dealing primarily in that dirty, shameful business known as Music, we have to admit that we've known some potheads in our time.

And they were always late to everything! Without fail!

We (think we) know exactly what happened. 

First, Justin B. (the B. stands for blunt) burned a few L's before taking an afternoon siesta in his luxurious hotel room. Of course (in this hypothetical scenario), he set his smartphone alarm for AM instead of PM and woke up late. He was (likely) delayed even further by the fact that he needed to hit the gravity bong a few times before he felt far away enough from reality to comfortably exit his home. And (we imagine), following a jet stream of compressed exhaled marijuana smoke and subsequent coughing fit, he probably lost a lot of time looking for his wallet, keys, pants, and car.

Hey, Biebz, we don't care if you smoke weed. No, that's a lie. We do care. We care a lot. Because every time you purse your lips around a bong like Vanilla Ice at the Gathering of the Juggalos, we can blog about it and spend one less night searching for a sugar daddy on Back Pages.

The real issue here is that your behavior reinforces some of the most negative stereotypes about habitual tokers. How is pot ever going to get legalized if jackasses like you are essentially committing herb culture's version of black face?


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