Chris Brown's Latest Douche Move Caught on Film; Watch Breezy Bitch About $10 Parking

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Chris Brown: Whattadouche!!!!
Normally, this kind of pop-cultural-detritus "news" story -- one that hinges on the tragic frequency with which some spoon-fed monomaniacal pop star acts like an ass-hat -- is preceded by a reiteration of all the other times John Doe Douchebag has done whatever deplorable thing he does over and over.

If this were a post about Bluntin', excuse us, Justin Bieber, and the recent revelation that he is struggling with a brutal, life-threatening addiction to cannabis, then we would open with a short summary of the various ways in which Prince Puberty 2013 has dropped out of life with a bong in his hand.

But it would be completely impossible to list every instance in which Chris Brown has acted a fool, pulled some chump shit, or made a serious douche move.

So let's just talk about the douchebagging of the here and now. The present is a gift, or whatever, don'tchaknow. Even when Chris Brown is around. In those unfortunate instances, the gift is remembering that no matter how bad your life gets, hey, at least you're not Chris Brown.

Last night, Brown attended a charity event at Los Angeles bowling alley Pinz. So far, so good.

But upon attempting to exit, he must have realized that the evening was coming to an end and he hadn't made anybody completely miserable. So Breezy did what Breezy does best: He acted like a harsh baby about nothing to a stranger and was seemingly oblivious to the fact that his petulance was being forever recorded by The (fucking) Internet.

Isn't a large portion of this man's career built around claiming he is extraordinarily wealthy? We're pretty sure this failure-soaked excerpt from the miserable fable of human history (see the above video) doesn't have to do with Brown's inability to pay $10 for parking. It had to do with his chronic inability to refrain from pulling douche moves.


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