Five Reasons Bone Thugs-N-Harmony Should Start Selling Weed in Florida
|Bone Thugs and Harmonizer Flesh-N-Bone needs to move to Florida, join the legalization movement, "fill 'em on up with the icky, sticky," and then bathe in money.|
They are also one of the most 420 friendly ensembles in the history of hip-hop. All rappers love weed. But none with the insatiability of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, who would smoke their own mothers if they heard it would get them high.
Until then, thuggish ruggish affiliate Flesh-N-Bone has developed his own strain of weed, dubbed "Phifty Caliber Kush," to be sold at dispensaries in states where medicinal marijuana is legal. As experts in narco-trafficking pop stars, we think that if Flesh is serious about starting his herbal investment, it's high time the rapper brought that ish to Florida. Here are five reasons Bone Thugs and Flesh-N-Bone should slang trees in the Sunshine State.
5. Florida Needs Somebody to Save the Bongs
During his verse on "Weed Song," Flesh drops the rhyme "Be rippin' the bong like me/can hit it as long as me," suggesting that his lungs are especially primed for maximum inhalation of marijuana exhaust as filtered through a water pipe. So if FNB is going to help bring legalization to America's wang, he's gonna need to make saving the bongs a high priority.
In case ya haven't heard, certain squares in the Florida Legislature are trying to pass a permanent ban on the sale of water pipes. And, frankly, we're surprised it took this long! Every filling station in this country is a front for paraphernalia (and bath salts). But it's stayed under the radar thus far because the only people who go inside of these places to pay for and pump their own gas are drug-addicted proles. The man behind the bill -- Rep. Darryl Rouson -- probably figured this out when he was a crackhead buying those plastic roses and using the stem as a pipe.
4. Florida Hydro Will Really Get You Buzzed
Aside from maybe, like, Humboldt County and the stoney baloney mountains of Denver, Colorado, no chronic is more bubonic than that of the gurgling swamp that Ponce de León called La Florida, or, the "Flowery Land."
Flowers is right! Florida hydroponic will "really get you buzzed," which is precisely the desired result of Bone Thugs' cannabis consumption as outlined in "Buddah Lovaz." As his business develops, Flesh will probably want to diversify his inventory either via trade or crossbreeding. Miami in particular is home to so many exotic strains of diggity dankness that smokers can't even begin to imagine the true power of Phifty Caliber Kush in hybrid form.