Five Ass-Kicking Suggestions for Rick Ross' 24-Hour Bodyguard

3. Mr. T
Laurence Tureaud pities the fool that tries to pump Le Bawse full of lead. 'Cause in addition to being a wrestler, a fictional boxer, and the leader of the A-Team, Mr. T has also worked as a professional bodyguard.

2. Kevin Costner as The Bodyguard in The Bodyguard
The potential remix of "I Will Always Love You" - complete with auto-tuning Whitney Houston from beyond the grave and DJ Khaled screaming all over the track like a fucking drill sergeant - is completely unfuckwithable.

1. Vladimir Putin
Before he was Russia's prime-minister and then the country's President, this no-bullshit-ever Ruskie naturalist was a Lieutenant Colonel in the KGB, which should be an absolute bare minimum requirement to be selected to keep the Teflon Don alive.

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