Five Ass-Kicking Suggestions for Rick Ross' 24-Hour Bodyguard
|Cool hat, bro.|
Well, in South Florida, the sidewalk is, admittedly, perpetually steaming.
But the past few days have seen a heat-up of XXL proportions.
Someone tried to shoot Rick Ross! And now, according to TMZ, The Bawse requires 24 hour surveillance.
As you might imagine, County Grind is thoroughly invested in the livelihood of Ricky Rozay, because he accounts for about 75% of our content. So here are the five best suggestions for potential Bawse-worthy bodyguards.
Let's get the obvious recommendations out of the way. Maybach Music Group needs to invest in sending a T-800 cyborg (with a leather jacket and an Austrian accent) back in time to assassinate the parents of whoever it was that tried to shoot Ross and his boo.
Yo, now that we can watch the former Libyan dictator die on YouTube over and over, what's been going on with them heat-packing shawties he was always hanging out with? Don't these ferocious females meet every requirement laid out by Ross in his personal-ad-style depiction of his ideal mate, "Money Make Me Cum." First and foremost, he "needs a real bitch." Well, Gaddafi's security harem at least looks the part.