President Jimmy Carter Admits He's Going to Inauguration to See Beyonce Perform

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jimmycarterbeyoncelede.jpg
Jimmy Carter: If he liked it then he shoulda put a ring on it. 
When it comes to the history of presidents being lusty lascivious Lotharios, JFK and our boy Big Willy C. are probably tied for first. 

Yeah, Kennedy was technically cooler. And he did get buck with Marilyn Monroe, who was, like, way hotter than Monica Lewinsky. 

But William Jefferson Clinton compensated for his country bumpkin taste in interns by committing enough extra-marital, sexually deviant behavior that it warranted a phone-book sized tome be written to get it all down in one place. 

It is within this proud tradition of US heads of state revealing that they too get boners, that we present to you, the ever-faithful County Grind reader, a video of former President Jimmy Carter's eyeballs poppin' out of his head at the mere mention of Beyoncé Knowles' upcoming performance at today's inauguration of President Barack Obama. 


You gotta remember, folks, even after he was elected to the highest office in the land, Carter was always a farmer at heart. A fucking peanut farmer, at that. How many women like Beyoncé do you think are doing the "Single Ladies" dance out in the peanut fields of Georgia? We're going to wager -1, and that defies the laws of physics.

Here's hoping Queen Bee goes the extra mile for #39, busts out some Aretha Franklin-style headgear!


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