Britney Spears Does Las Vegas: Five Potential Themes for Her Upcoming Revue
To be real for a minute: Poor Britney Spears.
Now we're cookin'! Instead of slipping her in and out of stupidly cropped leotards, whoever makes these kinds of decisions needs to redesign Brit's entire costume closet in homage to the greatest entertainer Vegas has ever known. We'll have her do Jones through the ages, which will essentially just be Britney Spears dressing up like Tom Jones and then wearing more and more old age makeup. So like Benjamin Button in reverse with a dash of Mars Attacks and a cameo from The Fresh Prince of Beil-Air's Alfonso Ribeiro doing the Carlton.
Fuck it. Get her loaded, a microphone, and on a stage with the spotlight cranked, Then let it ride.