Top Ten Moments of Musicians on Fire, Rock 'n' Roll Infernos, and Pop Pyromania
6. Rihanna Receives an Old Testament Communique from God
So, we've all heard about The Big Guy popping in on Moses looking like a burning bush. Well, in our caffeinated and fictional opinion, Ri-Ri's recent run-in with merciless flames was definitely a message from The Most High letting the R&B-diva-cyborg know that she needs to stop smoking weed and break the fuck up with that piece of shit Chris Brown. Bieber is single, girl! Hit that shit! We'll even let you keep smoking bud.
5. Wyclef Jean is Not Jimi Hendrix
If you have footage of Wyclef at Woodstock '99 burning the figgity fuck out of his hands while trying to recreate Hendrix's o.g. guitar bonfire, please send it our way. Until then, please re-enjoy the above footage of the coolest man ever doing some cool-ass shit.
It's obvious which edition of the quintessential festival series was a fertile cultural explosion that defined an era of open-mindedness and experimentation, and which was pillaged by nü-metal orc arsonists.