Top Ten Gifts For a Very Punk Rock X-Mas

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6. Straight-Edge Time Piece
We suspect that straight-edge kids (that is, hardcore punks who've pledged sobriety) are actually the people who want to party the hardest. That's why they ask Santa for watches to constantly remind them that they shouldn't do drugs. Because it's always on their mind! Do you chase the dragon? Or does it chase you? Does anybody really know what time it is?

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5. Scuba Gear (For Dumpster Diving)
Punks will plunge headfirst into a barrel of degenerating trash with the glee of DuckTales-era Scrooge McDuck swimming a few laps in his pool of gold coins. But you can hold your breath for so long while crawling through garbage and checking the expiration date on discarded bottles of Odwalla. We suggest buying your diver relatives all of the gear pictured above, so they may more efficiently submerge their entire bodies in food that post-Enlightenment society has deemed "unsuitable for consumption."
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