Not to blow smoke up my own ass, but I consider myself somewhat of an Art Basel Miami Beach (AKA Miami Art Week) expert. That's right. An expert. So heed my advice, friends. I offer you here, my picks for musical parties during this grand fair. Not all events have been announced and Miami New Times has a comprehensive list evolving
, so check back for updates there and here.
I missed the first year of Basel celebrations about 10 years ago, but I've really gone all in every December since. I've crashed the MOCA LA party annually, thank you very much. Once, maybe six years back before the economy tanked, they gave out boxes filled with Mac makeup which lasted me till like now. One year, Bradford Cox performed as Atlas Sound at a space hosted by that cyclist with one ball, Lance Armstrong, and the singer told me: "I don't know you, but I like you!" And I got so embarrassed and flattered, I ran away.
I chatted with Beth Ditto and her girlfriend another year. Got free Converse designed by Matt and Kim. Sat at Devendra Banhart's feet as he played on the sand, watched Costes get blown onstage. The list does not end!
So, if you don't think driving down to Miami is worth the trek, you are so very wrong.
UR1 was postponed
, but don't think Kanye's gonna miss out on interrupting someone else's show in his new hometown. After popping up at Wood last weekend in Wynwood, I'm certain he's practicing snatching the mic from someone's
Again, I'm an expert, trust me. Here are my picks for musical events you must attend next week.
Wednesday, Dec. 5
If you've never seen designs by the magical Wildchild, you must go to Mansion tonight. This guy designs the most striking, dramatic masks and ensembles for drag queens and performance artists alike.
15. Rick Ross
The Teflon Don isn't gonna miss out on this chance to kick off a huge event like Basel in his hometown. And the Fillmore is just steps from the Bass Museum whose opening is (I'm pretty sure) the same night. It's also walking distance from the Art Basel vernissage that same day. There is no better nightcap than Rick Ross after gorging on a fine art dinner.
Rick Ross's Maybach Music Tour. With Meek Mill, Wale and Machine Gun Kelly. 8
p.m. Fillmore Miami Beach, 1700 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $82.50 plus fees via livenation.com. Call 305-673-7300 or visit fillmoremb.com.
14. No Name Dance Party at Villa 221
14. Gramps Soft Opening Everyone needs a new bar in their life. Wynwood's newest addition is Gramps. Equipped with booths for boozing, an outdoor space for stargazing, and a sizable stage for live music, this will be your new southern sanctuary. On this, their opening night, there will be two parties. No Name will bring "haus, techno, and beyond" with DJs Lorraine Sangre, Schematic Records' Romulo del Castillo, and Gio Ardito. Miami Bike Scene and Grolsch will present a screening of Lucas Brunelle's Line of Sight.
Villa 221, 221 NE 17 Street.
Screening begins promptly at 9 p.m., free beer from 8 to 9 p.m., party all night, Gramps 176 NW 24 St., Wynwood. It's all free.
13. Dita Von Tesse
I know you're too cool for South Beach unless you're chugging fancy beers at the Abbey's Festivus party on Dec. 9
. We also know that Dita isn't like the "it" girl anymore, but man, it'd certainly be fun to get sloshed for free at some crazy party and then roll on over to watch this famous undresser get raw. Once I saw her in New York, like 1,000 years ago, and Vincent Gallo, Perry Farrell, and Marilyn Manson were there. Guaranteed there will be famous people in this audience.
Opium Den Show with Dita Von Teese. With DJs Ruen and Jessica Who. 11 p.m. LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Tickets cost $40 to $60 plus fees via wantickets.com. Call 305-674-4680 or visit livnightclub.com.