Kids across America will be swimming in Bantha poodoo come Saturday, as Lucasfilm launches their first wave of attacks against the evil empire that is illiteracy with Star Wars Reads. Maybe if little Anakin had been read to more when he was a kid, he wouldn't have grown up into such a hot mess. We may never know.
The first Star Wars Reads Day, on October 6, 2012, will include over 1,000 events across the country in local libraries and bookstores. All will provide storytellers, some will have authors signing their books, and definitely expect some people dressed like Stormtroopers.
To commemorate this historic event, here's a list of the eight best Star Wars characters we would want to read to our children (if we had any).
8. Tusken Raiders
Persistent, ruthless, and nomadic, if these guys can't get kids to shut up for story time, I don't know that anyone can. Yeah, they don't really speak English or any discernible language, but by golly, they sure are loud.
7. Darth Maul
Talk about turning lemons into lemonade, Maul wouldn't let a silly thing like being cut in half stop him from leading a meaningful life. It's this kind of attitude that will lead our nation's future into the next great era of prosperity.
Fury, loyal, and lovable, Chewie has always been a popular character amongst the children. He's like a huge dog that walks around on two legs and threatens to tear people's arms off when he loses at video games. What child wouldn't want to take this walking carpet home and be lulled to sleep by his indistinguishable woofs and growls?