Bill Maher's Top Ten Funniest Jokes Told at Hard Rock Live, Hollywood

Categories: Comedy
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One of the greater things about Bill Maher is that he sometimes openly laughs at his own jokes on stage. He's not like Horatio Sanz on SNL, ruining every sketch with hearty giggles, but rather Maher's amusement highlights the humor of each line and makes you feel a little more drunk or stoned watching his glee. 

Maher came to the stage at Hard Rock Live in Hollywood this Labor Day weekend comfortably clothed in a red T-shirt with a laid back manner, armed with plenty of Florida and Romney jabs. The comedian made fun of our eternally misguided Rep. Allen West, mentioned Marco Rubio giving us the "full Palin," even brought these two hot topics together when asking: "What do I have to do eat the face off a homeless guy?" when speaking of Romney's alleged hatred of the poor.

Here are about ten of Bill Maher's funnier jokes of the night from this weekend's Hollywood show. 
11. On the number of Mexican illegal immigrants lowering recently, he noted to Americans: "No one's trying to get into your shitty disco anymore."

10. Maher opened his set by mentioning that he was happy to be here, but "unlike Clint Eastwood, I combed my hair." When it came to touching on the news that Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was better watched than the RNC, he said something about Honey Boo Boo being asked to do Clint's speech, "But she wouldnt dumb it down." Later, the comedian observed that Eastwood defines the current Republican party. He's "an old white guy arguing with an Obama who doesnt exist." 

9. In reference to Romney and Ryan's banter on what's on their iPods, and Twisted Sister's request that the VP candidate not to use their song to promote himself, Maher offered this advice to Rebubs choosing a campaign song: "Unless they're wearing a big cowboy hat, they hate your fucking guts." 

8. Someone in the crowd yelled out for the comedian to run for president. Maher's response: "Like I'm going to give up weed for that."

7. Paul Ryan, he joked, says the things Republicans only say in private, "When they're hitting on Ann Coulter."

6. Romney's campaign slogan? "Come back I'm still talking!"

5. He suggested the creation of a hologram Ronald Reagan to run against the invisible Obama. 

4. Joking on misinformation out there about "that Kenyan," our President, he sarcastically included mention of Obama wearing "a cock ring with a picture of Hugo Chavez." 

3. To make the president more "black," he suggested Obama grow out his hair, "wear a purple suit with twenty buttons down the front," and "take a swing at Rihanna." Snap! 

2. What does Jesus look like? Apparently, the Bee Gees from 1978. 

1. When talking about the importance of costumes and their role in solidifying power: "OMG! Lady Gaga, she's wearing a dress made out of dog shit. She must be the most talented person in the world." Amen to that. 



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Hard Rock Live

1 Seminole Way, Hollywood, FL

Category: Music

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