Butt Hole Tattoo Girl, Maria, Speaks: "Now My Ass Is Famous Overnight"
Have you ever been arrested?
The guy who had me put in jail was named Rockwood. He hated seeing Vince there when we had sex, so for his birthday I covered it up with "Rockwood" because anyway if we broke up then "I rock wood in my ass."
So we broke up and his mom put me in jail. She thinks I'm a whore from the streets. Her son used to steal all her jewelry and pawn it for drugs, so she manipulated the detectives into believing it was me.
I was 21, I turned 22 in jail. The day I got out, her father passed away. I said, "You fucked me over, and you lost your father the day I got my freedom back, he dies, that's karma." I went to court over and over, and I finally got probation for 18 months to three years, but I'm not behind bars, I'm not a felon. If anything, it made me stronger.
Jail woke me up though. We were all in one big room, full of bad bitches. I was showing them all my butt hole tattoo. One girl nicknamed me "dick shit." I still don't know what it means. On my birthday they even made me a card that said "Fuck Hallmark, this is jailmark."
I told them, I'm really not that sad. I got to spend it with you guys instead of Rockwood. They even hustled to make me a birthday cake. We all saved our cookies from lunch and dinner, crushed them, put them in a cup, mixed in water, put it in the microwave, and in just a few seconds it makes this cake like material. It was awesome.
I work at a mechanic shop part-time learning how to fix cars, picking up parts, answering the phone. They know. They know everything about me. What's awesome is we're open and honest about shit. I live right across the street and there's more than one shop so all the mechanic boys love me.
I have talents. I wanna write a book. I've been through hell and back, and my story is gonna blow the whole world away. Now, I just wait till the money starts piling up and I can just pull it out of my ass.
I'm real, that's all it is. I went out into the world at 15. I worked for a music business guy when I was 17, and made $1,000 a week babysitting his kids.
I worked my ass off with honest jobs and I did the right thing, and now my ass is famous overnight. I can be happy by myself with nothing. I don't need love or hate. Those are two evil things. Love can hurt you, and hate can hurt you. I'm just a beautiful disaster.
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