Carol City don and MMG head honcho Rick Ross will celebrate the release of his fifth studio album, God Forgives, I Don't, on August 4 at the world-famous "urban gentleman's club" and home of five-dolla T-bone steak King of Diamonds.
We know, when you first heard about this partay, you said to yourself: "WTF? I'm so there, and I'm taking the wifey with me." Then the realization hit that you and your girl are not nearly cool, successful, or rich enough to let anything but tears over your poverty rain at KoD. No matter how much you think your life is like "Cashin Out," it's not.
But if you swallow the pride and paper to hit the Boss' party, here are a couple of tips to consider before getting down with Ricky Rozay and the beautiful, buxom, athletic ladies of King of Diamonds. Remember, you want your night to be "Rack City," not one of those weird Drake songs where he's depressed even while getting a lap dance.
Save Your Money, You Broke Bitch
You want to make it rain because it looks like the coolest thing ever, but in order for you to do this, you should have been saving up those $350 Starbucks paychecks a few months in advance.
That means months of eating rice and beans at home with Mom and Dad, staring at Guy Fieri's dumb hair on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives with your girlfriend, and sucking down plenty of Yuengling 12-packs. All of this will pay off in the end, because once you get to KoD, your 20 seconds of rain-making is gonna be fucking awesome! And for those 20 seconds, you will be a demigod.
That feeling won't last, because for working folk like yourself, making it rain offers only a diminishing return. So yeah, expect a dolla-dolla-bill hangover.