Fifty Shades of Grey Sex Scenes That Could Have Saved Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's Relationship (NSFW)

Categories: Talking Shit
Did you think we were done talking about the KStew/RPatz drama? Think again. Over the weekend, the story continues to unfold as Robert Pattinson reportedly asked Kristen Stewart to move out. Saturday morning, the paparazzi showed up just in time to catch a glimpse of the U-Haul parked outside.

But, we have to wonder, where did things go wrong? Was the vampire/human role-playing just not enough? Did this couple not read E.L. James' bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey -- a fan fiction novel that was based on their Twilight personas? We're pretty sure the stay-at-home-mommy porn could've saved their failing relationship.

Here's a few of the hottest scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey that could have kept the pair from cheating. Beware ladies, they are very NSFW, so you might want to hold off until you're home and alone in bed.

5. Ana's inner goddess learns to give a great BJ.
"I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He's my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder ... Hmm ... My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves." (p. 137)

4. Christian setting Ana up for the spanking of a lifetime.

"Suddenly he grabs me, tipping me across his lap. With one smooth movement, he angles his body so my torso is resting on the bed beside him. He throws his right leg over both mine and plants his left forearm on the small of my back, holding me down so I cannot move ... He places his hand on my naked behind, softly fondling me, stroking around and around with his flat palm. And then his hand is no longer there ... and he hits me--hard." (p. 273 & p. 274)

3. Ana learns about the wonders of nipple play.
"'Very nice,' he whispers appreciatively, and my nipples harden even more. He blows very gently on one as his hand moves to my other breast, and his thumb slowly rolls the end of my nipple elongating it. I groan, feeling the sweet sensation all the way to my groin..." (p.104)

2. Nothing wrong with a little hair pulling.
"His arms are wrapped around me, and he's pulling me to him, hard, fast, gripping my ponytail to tilt my head up, kissing me like his life depends on it... He drags the hair tie painfully out of my hair, but I don't care. He needs me, for whatever reason, at this point in time, and I have never felt so desired and coveted." (p. 478)

1. A whole lot of climaxing going on.
"He leans down and kisses me, his fingers still moving rhythmically inside me, his thumb circling and pressing. His other hand scoops my hair off my head and holds my head in place. His tongue mirrors the actions of his fingers, claiming me. My legs begin to stiffen as I push against his hand. He gentles his hand, so I'm brought back from the brink ... I come instantly again and again, falling apart beneath him ... then I'm building again ... I climax anew, calling out his name." (p. 195 & p. 196)

How's that for romance?!

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Romance?! I don't see it there -- but rather a whole lotta sex that should be kept in the bedroom. Romance and sex are not the same thing. Romance means lavishing personal attention on someone with acts of chivalry, courtesy, and/or love. It means displaying the respect and honor you have for your partner and their love that they are freely giving you. Romance can very well lead to sex, but sex in itself does not lead to, nor is it the same thing as, romance.


I seriously doubt that RP & KS acting out sex scenes from "Fifty Shades of Grey" would have prevented her affair.  However, more mutual romance expressed between the two of them may have helped Kristen avoid the evil clutches of an infatuated married man 20 years older than her. 

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