Elton John Versus Cee Lo Green: Who Is More Glorious?
|Elton tripping the croc fantastic.|
Sir Elton isn't the only man who owns the airwaves. Cee Lo Green, another fancy man with a sexy throat, is catching up to him. These boys have a lot in common: sexy threads, wild stage shows, and appetites for love, The Muppets and scoring hit songs with vulgar titles. In anticipation of John's upcoming Billy Joel-free concert at BankAtlantic Center on Friday, March 9, join us as we compare the glamour showboats.
Category One: What's in a Name?
Sir Elton was born Reginald Kenneth Dwight -- not bad, sounds classy and dignified. Cee Lo was born Thomas DeCarlo Callaway. That is a fancy-pants name; it sounds like a casino in the Caribbean where jazz is king.
Cee Lo wins this round. 3 points!
Category Two: Made in the Shade
Cee Lo is kind of famous for his sunglasses, but Elton has millions of pairs that are hundreds of degrees hotter.
Elton wins this round. 5 points! Perfect score!
Category Three: Parental Advisory -- Hit Record!
"Fuck You" by Cee Lo was number two in the States and number one in the U.K., while Elton's "The Bitch Is Back" came in at four in the U.S. and 15 in his home-field. Sorry, Elton; Cee Lo's song was a bigger hit, with a dirtier word.
Cee Lo wins! 5 points!
Category Four: The Clothes Make the Man
Donald Duck may not be able to beat up a Spartan warrior in a wrestling match. But everyone knows this disco duck has the hottest moves on the dance floor.
Elton wins 4 points!