Live: Pitbull and Kelly Clarkson Couldn't Save Y100 Jingle Ball 2011 From Itself

Did we mention it was five hours long?! How is it possible that the Y100 Jingle Ball ran nearly five hours? According to the New York Times, the Z100 edition on Friday at Madison Square Garden clocked in at three-and-a-half and was capped by a 40-minute Lady Gaga performance. That sounds civil, even humane, compared to nearly half an hour of LMFAO.

Photo by Sayre Berman

​Z100 DJ Elvis Duran introduced LMFAO by saying "the most exciting moment of your year is about to happen." As it turned out, this led right into Redfoo announcing that his partner in the group Skyblu was out with a back injury. But since the duo's cynical neon slop is largely prerecorded backing tracks, this forced no adjustment. The inflatable zebra didn't care, the dancers with beer bongs were unaffected, and it didn't stop him from telling the underaged crowd, "If you don't have a drink, put your middle fingers up." Of course, the assembled masses still danced to "Party Rock," and Redfoo still dutifully stripped down to just a banana hammock. It's impressive how one-note a performance can seem with so much "going on." 

Introduced as the world's number-one DJ, David Guetta's set -- which began well into the fourth hour of the night -- dragged. Shockwaves danced on the video screens, and occasionally he lifted his hands and smiled with sick glee -- so now you experienced it too. Aside from working in some Daft Punk (and some suspiciously familiar neon creatures shooting sparks), the only thing worth noting was the Frenchman's unsophisticated use of the volume controls when he silenced the blunt trauma beats to "excite" the crowd.

No one seemed concerned about the lack of compelling performers. Well, that's not true. Parents were concerned enough that they loaded up on drinks, according to a bartender friend. But the crowd responded well to this disorganized flagellation on the whole. They waited patiently through boring backstage video footage and even more boring stage breaks featuring Elvis Duran and the Y100 staff -- and 1-800-NEED-HELP ads. I guess if you've never been to a concert before, what do you have to compare it to?

Critic's Notebook

The crowd: Sometime during LMFAO, a guy in a suit and a woman in red evening gown who looked like they had just eaten an expensive meal found their seats near the back of the floor area. Thirteen-year-old girls in outfits stolen from their older sisters.

Notebook dumps: "Someone please flip the Script."  

Overheard: A father lamented: "Eight dollars for a scoop of ice cream?!"