Lantana Oktoberfest 2011: Survival Guide (for 2012)
Categories: Nightlife
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| Monica McGivern |
Check out our slideshow here.
Deutschland is probably not the first association to spring to mind when one thinks of South Florida, but the American German Club of the Palm Beaches has been throwing its über-memorable Oktoberfest celebration for almost 40 years. The chicken dance, the polka music, the band flown all the way from Germany -- all conspire to create a German fest of epic proportions. In some ways, it's a lot like any fair, complete with carnival rides. But until you've seen grown men in lederhosen and chicken hats, you haven't lived.
It wrapped up this past weekend, so if you've never been, you've missed it for 2011. But there's always next year, and we sacrificed our livers (and our sanity) to bring you tips to make the most of Oktoberfest 2012.
This cannot be stressed enough. The first hour in the car wasn't so bad. Spirits mostly remained high in anticipation of boots full of German beer and wiener schnitzel and grown men in chicken hats. The last half hour was a dark time. Dark.
By the time we got inside, the "tender pork" had all been eaten and the
Widmer Hefe Weizen was nothing more than a foamy memory -- at least, it
was at the beer stand we patronized. Since waiting in another line was
out of the question, we got our Hofbrau Lights and got out of there.
2. Bring your patience
This event has gotten big. BIG. More than 30,000 attend over the course of two weekends, and although the club's entire campus is about ten acres, much of that is for parking. As with any event with that sort of attendance, patience is the key to survival. Learn to enjoy your line time.
2. Bring your patience
This event has gotten big. BIG. More than 30,000 attend over the course of two weekends, and although the club's entire campus is about ten acres, much of that is for parking. As with any event with that sort of attendance, patience is the key to survival. Learn to enjoy your line time.
3. Be strategic.
Send two friends ahead while you purchase tickets to be used in lieu of money.
Join the first friend in the food line. This line will be shorter, and
you can help carry food. Finally, reconvene with friend two in the beer
line. This way, the three of you can enjoy a steaming plate of spicy
goulash over noodles and sauerkraut, and if you time it just right, you'll finish and leave both hands free for beer, which leads us to
our next tip.
4. Maximize line time
You have two hands -- probably. Both of them can hold beer. Exploit this. You could also order a boot and/or a pitcher. The basic premise is, figure out how much beer you're likely to drink and try to buy it in one trip.
5. Beer tastes better when drunk from a stein
Really, it does. While the rim of the plastic cup invokes a tailgaiting/frat party feeling, closing your eyes and bringing a stein to your lips transports you to Munich, birthplace of Oktoberfest. And consider this -- in such a ridiculous crush of human bodies, your elbow will inevitably be jostled. This will not only send your beer hand (which, if you've followed tip four, will be both) flying but it will also cause you to reflexively squeeze your hand. If you are holding a plastic cup, precious beer will well up over your hand, run down your arm, and puddle in your cute sandals. The stein is not only unsqueezable but has an air of dignity around it that simply deters jostling altogether. Now you are safe to raise your beer high in the air as you sway to "Sweet Caroline." (Why this seems to be the anthem of this event, we have no idea. But the crowd loves it, so sway along.)
6. Know where your bathrooms are
I am loath to share this tip since it is so valuable, but here goes. While standing in the most frustrating line of all -- frustrating because what is at the end of this line is truly an unavoidable necessity -- my German fairy godmother found me. She was elderly, tiny, and dressed in a dirndl. "Zere is another bathroom," she whispered and pointed up the stairs. "Danke!" Yes, "zere" is another bathroom upstairs in the Festhaus, and it is always empty. You're welcome.
7. Learn the drinking chant
First, you count to three in German, "Eins, zwei, drei. G'soffe!" (The last bit basically means "drink.") Then comes, "Zicke, zacke, zicke, zacke! Hoi, hoi, hoi!" pronounced, "ticky, tacky." You do this with your beer -- hopefully in a stein -- held up over your head. Then you all drink. Don't worry -- you've got a whole year now to practice.
Sidenote: Yes,
there are carnival rides and games to keep the kids happy as well. They
even have that big slide that you go down on an empty potato sack. But
that's not what Oktoberfest is about. We suggest you keep to the
biergarden and the dance floor. In addition to the authentic German band, you'll see belly dancers and Irish step
dancers -- these are in no way German, of course, but celebrating
multiculturalism is always fun. And besides, during Oktoberfest,
everybody's German. "Prosit!"
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| Monica McGivern |
| Ist gut, ja! |
4. Maximize line time
You have two hands -- probably. Both of them can hold beer. Exploit this. You could also order a boot and/or a pitcher. The basic premise is, figure out how much beer you're likely to drink and try to buy it in one trip.
5. Beer tastes better when drunk from a stein
Really, it does. While the rim of the plastic cup invokes a tailgaiting/frat party feeling, closing your eyes and bringing a stein to your lips transports you to Munich, birthplace of Oktoberfest. And consider this -- in such a ridiculous crush of human bodies, your elbow will inevitably be jostled. This will not only send your beer hand (which, if you've followed tip four, will be both) flying but it will also cause you to reflexively squeeze your hand. If you are holding a plastic cup, precious beer will well up over your hand, run down your arm, and puddle in your cute sandals. The stein is not only unsqueezable but has an air of dignity around it that simply deters jostling altogether. Now you are safe to raise your beer high in the air as you sway to "Sweet Caroline." (Why this seems to be the anthem of this event, we have no idea. But the crowd loves it, so sway along.)
 |
| Monica McGivern |
| Laugh, but deep down you are completely jealous of this hat. |
6. Know where your bathrooms are
I am loath to share this tip since it is so valuable, but here goes. While standing in the most frustrating line of all -- frustrating because what is at the end of this line is truly an unavoidable necessity -- my German fairy godmother found me. She was elderly, tiny, and dressed in a dirndl. "Zere is another bathroom," she whispered and pointed up the stairs. "Danke!" Yes, "zere" is another bathroom upstairs in the Festhaus, and it is always empty. You're welcome.
7. Learn the drinking chant
First, you count to three in German, "Eins, zwei, drei. G'soffe!" (The last bit basically means "drink.") Then comes, "Zicke, zacke, zicke, zacke! Hoi, hoi, hoi!" pronounced, "ticky, tacky." You do this with your beer -- hopefully in a stein -- held up over your head. Then you all drink. Don't worry -- you've got a whole year now to practice.
 |
| Monica McGivern |
| Actual Germans. |
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Location Info
Venue
American German Club of the Palm Beaches
Map
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