Four Mysteries of Garlic Fest Explained

Categories: Useless Lists
gf poster 2011 small (188x250).jpg
2011 poster by Ann Warner (Bernard)
This weekend in Delray, lots of people with stank breath will be enjoying fun in the sun at the 12th Annual Delray Beach Garlic Fest. The family friendly event will feature the kind of stuff we would expect from a festival celebrating this lovable and pungent member of the onion family -- like oodles of gourmet food (including garlic ice cream!), cooking competitions featuring chefs from local restaurants, and lots of activities for the kiddies. In addition to this sensible goodness are a few things that we over-thinkers at County Grind have managed to become confused about. So to entertain ourselves and our readers, we're going to attempt to fit a hot dog eating contest, a Grateful Dead tribute band, and a couple of the other less obvious aspects of the fest into the garlic narrative. Enjoy!

The Hot Dog Eating Contest

Hot dogs are among the most repulsive and popular foods in our culture. The only way to make hot dog eating more disgusting than it typically is is to organize or enter a contest where the winner is the one who can stuff more mystery meat sticks into their face than the other contestants. Garlic is said to have many medicinal qualities, including antibacterial and antifungal activity, as well as the ability to help remedy digestive disorders. This is fortunate, because we're pretty sure that among the weird stuff which fills hot dogs is plenty of fungus and bacteria, and, well, contestants will certainly benefit form the digestive aid that the garlic may offer!

Dark Star Orchestra

In our opinion, the spirit of the Grateful Dead adds something special any scene. At Garlic Fest this will be especially true, because the band will surely draw lots of hippies to the party, and the patchouli and ganja odor which they will be emitting should mix interestingly with the generally pungent garlic aura of the rest of the festival, thus creating a very special aromatic experience for all involved.

Buddy Guy

This old legend has a great ability to fit in and have fun just about anywhere. To become one with the garlic party, we predict that he'll change the lyrics to his hit "Stone Crazy!" to "Clove Crazy!", and, of course, throw in this tasty number:



Vampire Weekend

They aren't gonna be there! Duh!

Garlic Fest featuring Buddy Guy, Dark Star Orchestra, Led Hed, Amber Leigh, and more. 5 p.m.-11 p.m. Friday, February 11; 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Saturday February 12; 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Sunday February 13 Downtown Delray Beach. Admission costs $10. Call 561-278-0555, or click here.



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