Coatman Launches New Times Letter-Writing Campaign

We think that Coatman has touched this envelope.

​"Is there a non-local photon field around 'Coatman' for which there is 'no time'?" -- Dennis "Coatman" Marsella, December 2010

Doubtless you too have asked yourself this question repeatedly since first seeing the "trick marathon runner" slowly but relentlessly jogging his way down Broward Boulevard with a streamered tray full of drinks.

Regarding Marsella's latest in a series of contacts with New Times -- which began after he was displeased that fellow beach celeb Mickey Clean garnered a cover feature -- we'd like to say he wrote us a letter, but that would not be completely accurate. Technically, he taped the photo to the outside of a sealed envelope. Why not put it inside? Probably so as not to rob the postal workers of the joy of seeing the image for themselves. View it below.

​For anyone who has not listened to Coatman's voicemail to us (and we highly recommend that you do), this is the aforementioned photograph of our hero running past Central Lenin Stadium (now known as Luzhniki Olympic Complex) in Moscow, Russia, circa July 1987.

We trust in the authenticity of this photo because of two incontrovertible pieces of evidence:

1. It's a photograph printed on paper. It might as well be a cave drawing or a Victorian lithograph.

2. His sweet, sweet plastic sunglasses with the neon orange frames. (Wonder if they were hyper-color too... Nah, that wasn't until the '90s.)

None of this answers the most important question though. Is there a non-local photon field around "Coatman" for which there is "no time"?

Man, we hope so! You keep running, Coatman. Just keep running.