Top Five Gifts for Ringo Starr's 70th Birthday

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Yes, 70.

​The opportunity to see a Beatle in person should be regarded by all of us as nothing short of a big, fat gift from the British version of Apollo, the god of music. Tonight, Ringo Starr will dazzle a blessed SoFla audience at Hard Rock Live with a slew of hits and, of course, a flashy costume. As a bonus, he'll be flanked by the latest version of the All-Starr Band, which includes Edgar Winter, Rick Derringer of the McCoys (you know, "Hang On Sloopy"), and others. Tonight's performance comes on the heels of Starr's 70th birthday (which means an obsessive crush on him is almost cute again).

At his special birthday show at Radio City Music Hall in NYC last week, Starr was surprised with such gifts as a giant drum-kit cake and a birthday serenade from none other than Sir Paul McCartney, among others. This made us at County Grind curious as to what other gifts he may have received to celebrate this momentous occasion. Here are a few of our top hopes:

5. After the birthday show, backstage, McCartney reveals his true gift: a portrait tattoo of Ringo on his left breast, in the artistic style of Marge Simpson.

4. A humorous birthday card from the Vatican stating that although the Beatles were never truly bigger than Jesus, Ringo is now almost as old as God.

3. An invitation from Paul the psychic octopus for Ringo and a guest to visit his garden (in the shade), with passes for a yellow submarine ride to and from.

2. We're not certain, but we know it's his.
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1. An extremely rare copy of a Meet the Beatles! reissue LP. On the cover, Ringo's face is in line with the other three Beatles, rather than awkwardly squeezed into the bottom-right corner below Paul's chin (shown at right).

As a result, he is grinning and looks more awkward than before next to the relatively stoic faces to his right (close your eyes and imagine it -- it is glorious). Happy belated, Ringo!

Ringo Starr and His All-Starr Band. 7 p.m. Thursday, July 15, at Hard Rock Live, 1 Seminole Way, Hollywood. Tickets cost $44 to $104. Call 954-797-5531, or click here.