Via Jaxson's Ice Cream Parlor Restaurant Facebook page.

This image shows the back left side of the missing truck. We will post more images as they become available.

Who would mess with a beloved South Florida institution like Jaxson's Ice Cream Parlor Restaurant? That's the mystery today as the crew at the storied Dania Beach fixture work with local police to determine the whereabouts of the Jaxson's truck, which was stolen just before 1 a.m. today from the restaurant's lot.

Manager Jerry Smith said surveillance footage shows someone driving the 2006 Isuzu box truck off the property in the early-morning hours; the video is being turned over to police. The crime was discovered around 8:30 this morning, and Smith said the culprit would have had to have used bolt cutters to get the truck free from its parking spot.

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Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office

Lisa Cherry arrested over a food fight.

​There's a point in every person's life when the age-old question rears its ugly head -- "What's for dinner?" 

This question may be posed by child, spouse, or roommate, but it always brings a shudder of dread -- especially accompanied by the inherent whine of "not pasta/burgers/salad again!"

The Sun-Sentinel reported today that 46-year-old Lake Worth resident Lisa Cherry got into an argument with an unidentified man over food. The argument escalated when Cherry started drinking beer and throwing food out the front door because she said she was sick of cooking for him.

The gentleman reciprocated by threatening to cut "her pony tail off if she didn't stop throwing things." That's when Cherry allegedly picked up a kitchen knife, cut the phone line, and stabbed the man in the hand.



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Angelo Angelo via Flickr Creative Commons

"Srsly? A Flash intro AND an automatic music player featuring bagpipes? WTF."

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​Science: Two test subjects swallow pill-sized cameras -- "M2A capsules," they're called, for "mouth to anus." One subject then eats a meal of "processed" foods, and the other eats a meal of "natural" food. (I put those words in scare quotes because all food is both processed and natural. But you get the gist. One of these meals comprises simple ingredients prepared simply, while the other is full of chemicals with unpronouncable Latinate names.) The cameras, each of which is equipped with a tiny light, record the digestive process. Some months later, the subjects switch -- the one who previously ate the "natural" meal now eats the synth crap, the former synthcrappivore eats the healthy stuff.More >>

Cornell/University of Hawaii

Volunteers wanted for a mission to Mars.

​The world is apparently divided into two types of people -- those who wanted to be astronauts when they grew up and everyone else. In case you think your dreams of being part of a rocket to Mars have been dashed by cuts in the space program (and your inability to pass a NASA drug test), think again.

Cornell/University of Hawaii is seeking volunteers for a Mars Analogue Mission and Food Study. Volunteers chosen will spend 120 days on Hawaii's lava fields in a controlled environment meant to simulate life on Mars. There, the six chosen crew members will test various instant and prepackaged foods for taste and ease of use. 


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​A blandly artsy loft-style apartment, perhaps in New York. Bicycle in the corner, posters on the wall. Perhaps a half-dozen young people sitting on couches, talking and laughing and eating what we shall soon discover are Hot Pocket Snackers. Some of the young people look conservative. Some look like hipsters. One looks like a black guy. This is young America.

Male announcer: "New Hot Pocket Snackers! Real restaurant-styled flavors like loaded potato skins!"

Suddenly there appears in the middle of the living room a waitress. She is not a generic waitress. From her dress -- slacks, apron, white shirt, and a vest festooned with dozens of buttons and other detritus of the kind referred to in Office Space as "flair" -- we may divine that she works for TGI Friday's or its clones, Ruby Tuesday and Applebee's. She is approximately 30 years old. She is gaunt. She wears short, tragically styled red hair, pale skin, and a terrible, guileless grin.

Waitress, in a high and unhip voice: "Hey, funky party people! Are we having fun?"

The young people are both frightened and full of contempt.More >>

​I was wondering the other day when we crossed the line in indulging our dogs when I saw a pooch jacket section that rivaled the kids' selection at Target. Pink, orange, brown, green, and blue jackets in an array of sizes, for those cold(ish) Florida days when a dog's real coat doesn't cut it. More >>

A light bite at Grateful Palate.

​As tiresome as the prevalence of small plates may be, it seems they're in response to a downsizing trend. In the past year, more people are cutting back on going out to dinner or are cutting out dinner entirely, reports Small Business Trendcast.

Restaurant News reports that 40 percent of consumers cut have cut back on dinners out. And if they're going out, more report to hitting up happy-hour deals. Seventy-one percent report skipping dinners altogether because of late lunches or lack of hunger.

The result, says Technomic's Dinner and Late Night Consumer Trend Report, is that restaurants are accommodating changing patterns by offering smaller plates, lower-cost ingredients, and late-night grazing items.

These stats contrast with this year's Zagat report that suggests diners' appetites for dinner out is healthy, with South Floridians to eat out 3.4 times a week, compared to Boston, where residents eat out 2.5 times a week, or New York, which is listed at three times a week. Perhaps this is because Zagat is reader-generated rather than a representative sample of a population.

After the jump, five happy-hour deals -- with small plates for grazing -- to save you weekend dough.

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Follow Me Foodie

Oh, the shit foodies say....

​There are about a gazillion different Shit (Fill in the Blanks) Girls Say videos. I love 'em all, especially Shit Miami Girls Say.

Anything that pokes harmless fun at our neighbors south of the border (and by border, we mean the Miami-Dade/Broward county line), because it really applies to all of South Florida. Who among us hasn't said the word irregardless at some point in their lives?


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​You might think twice before hitting up the drive-through for this morning's McMuffin.

The New York Observer, Huffington Post, and others reported how a McDonald's twitter marketing ploy has gone awry. Two dipshit tweets from McDonald's with the hashtag #McDStories -- "When you make something with pride, people can taste it." -- and the Twitterverse took it for themselves. PETA lobbed accusations early on regarding mechanically separated meat, which McDonald's corrected. After the jump, a handful of #McDStories.

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