Could Donut Fries Be the Next Cronut?

Categories: Fast Fat

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Courtesy of Psycho Donuts
It's like an optical illusion of tasty fried goodness.
By now, you've probably heard about cronuts. Or kronuts. Or dossants. For those who don't keep up with the latest news on dessert trends, the cronut is the puggle of food items. The Cronut™ was created in New York at the Dominique Ansel Bakery and was gifted unto the world in May 2013.

Since then, the cronut has swept the world under its many untrademarked incarnations. Locally, Red the Steakhouse had a cruller variety, Jupiter Donut Factory has its version, as does Kosher Master Cake Bakery in Pembroke Pines.

We're Americans. There are two things we love as much as freedom: carbs and fried stuff.

So, one has to wonder, what will the next crossover-combo-hybrid dessert concoction be?

We think we've found it: donut fries.

See also: Ten Best Doughnuts in Broward and Palm Beach

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Doughnuts Are the Cause of America's Problems

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It is true that America is home to the Luther Burger. It is true that America invented greasy fast food and continues to love its Burgerdonalds and McKings with heart-stirring (and -stopping) patriotic ardor. It is true that our prolonged prosperity in the 20th Century, our early adoption of refrigeration, and our vast continent of cattle-friendly farmland combined to addict our grandparents to unhealthy quantities of red meat and to enduringly define the American dinner as a plate full of starch and flesh, with an unloved ghetto of frozen vegetalia shmushed off to the side. And it is true that several species of indigenous American grub were meant to power farmers through long days manning a plow, or whatever it is that farmers do. (Think the sweet meatballs and hot bacon dressing of Pennsylvania Dutch cooking and the classical breakfast poison of flapjacks + syrup + bacon + sausage + eggs + toast + coffee. The coffee, as it happens, is a diuretic, which hamper's the body's ability to eliminate the lethal tonnage of the foregoing ingredients.) It's the last point that I've been thinking about lately: Locating the culprit for my expanding waistline amid breakfast foods. 

What put me in mind of breakfast foods was an argument I had with a roommate of mine, the daughter of a ship captain who has grown up internationally, in coastal cities around the world. We were at dinner. She'd eaten mussels. I'd had steak tartar. We both had a sweet tooth. My roommate commented on the absence of doughnuts on American dessert menus. And I said -- as I think a lot of Americans might say, rather thoughtlessly -- "Of course. Doughnuts are a breakfast food."

That we were in a French restaurant made my remark more idiotic than it would otherwise be, French restaurants being the sorts of places where doughnuts really are a dessert food. (Here there was only chocolate pot de'creme.) My roommate gave me a look both incredulous and fearful -- incredulous because, the moment you think about it, it becomes apparent that doughnuts are a horrendous breakfast food; fearful because a few years in the United States had taught her that there is no limit to the grossness of the American palate, and she suspected she was about to learn something ugly.
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Donuts

Free Bloomin' Onion at Outback Steakhouse on Tuesday, March 20

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karendotcom127 via Flickr Creative Commons
What better way to say spring than eating a deep-fried veggie?
You can celebrate the start of spring -- the vernal equinox, if you're feeling fancy -- on Tuesday by spending the day tending your garden or doing some sort of get-close-to-Mother-Earth ritual. Or, you could head to an Outback Steakhouse for a free bloomin' onion as part of the restaurant's "Bloom into Spring" promotion.

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School Lunch Changes Mean Fewer Animal Crackers and No Canned Fruits

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No more animal crackers for iron at your kid's cafeteria. In the first overhaul of school food in 15 years, all schools must be in compliance with the U.S. Department of Agriculture's school food rules by July 1. Florida schools have prepped for the changes by switching control of the school lunch program from the state Department of Education to the Department of Agriculture.

The regulations touted by First Lady Michelle Obama will ensure a doubling of and greater variety of fruits and vegetables; more whole-grain foods; calorie adjustments such as nixing sugar-laden canned fruits; lower saturated fats, trans fats, and sodium; and the elimination of the sale of whole milk.

In the before-and-after menu provided as an example from the USDA, a preregulation lunch would be a 5.3-ounce bean and cheese burrito with 1-ounce mozzarella cheese; 1/4 cup apple sauce; 4-ounce orange juice, and 8-ounce glass of 2 percent milk. An after reg lunch is an ounce of turkey and .5-ounce low-fat cheese with mustard and mayo on a whole-wheat roll; 1/2 cup refried beans; 1/4 cup green pepper strips; 1/4 cup jicama (yes, jicama); 1/2 cup cantaloupe; and an 8-ounce glass of skim milk.

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Are McBites the New McRib?

Categories: Fast Fat
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McDonald's has released McBites, made of chicken breast -- and rib -- meat, nationwide, along with 20 additional ingredients, not including breading. The chain's version of popcorn chicken debuted in Fort Lauderdale about three weeks ago.

Served in a Chinese-takeout-inspired container, they're available in three-, five, and ten-ounce containers through April 20.

The three-ounce snack size delivers 310 calories, the five- ounce is 490 calories, and the ten-ounce is 1,050 calories. Servings sell from $1.99 to $4.99.

Will the limited debut inspire the mania for McRib? Or are they just too cute?

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McDonalds

Free Fries This Friday at Burger King: Should You Care?

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The fantasy
December 16 marks Free Fries Friday at Burger King locations across the country, part of the nationwide rollout of "fluffier" fries with "more potato flavor" that started December 5. The new friesMore »

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