Broward Palm Beach Food Blog

​An economy that's gone from filet mignon to meat loaf faster than you can say "greedy Wall Street bastards" has got the attention of even high-flying steak houses. 

One of them, Ruth's Chris, last night unveiled a new "bistro menu" of apps, sushi, soups, salads and sammies priced from $9 to $19, not exactly McCheapskate but a lot less than that USDA Prime porterhouse for two. The lounge of the West Palm/CityPlace RC, one of only four in the country to get this test rollout, was packed with invitees sucking down free cosmos and chardonnay, while waiters bearing bistro tidbits passed them around the room and a guy on electric piano did creditable renditions of jazz standards. 

John Linn

Get used to lifting fork to mouth at the Dutch Pot.

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Long before Chipotle and Moes began hawking burritos in South Florida, hometown favorite East Coast Burrito Factory was constructing gargantuan, one-pound burritos and unleashing them like mini Godzillas on the public. The burritos say East Coast, but the style is distinctly San Franciscan with a Florida twist -- Frisco burros are known for their bulging mass, their baby-like size, and their mess of everything-but-the-sink fillings. East Coast ups the ante by turning their burritos into Floritos, huge flour tortillas that incorporate Caribbean and Cuban elements like black beans and rice, fresh seafood, and jerk sauce. Although jerk sauce on a burrito may sound like a foolhardy proposition, this place pulls it off. That plus a chipotle barbecue burrito, as seen above, that's perhaps the best bit of tubular love flung out in South Florida.
  

John Linn

Jerk chicken at Kelsie's Place is exceedingly tender and only slightly spicy.

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The drag along Sunrise Boulevard east of I-95 is really in a bad way these days. Almost everything is out of business or vacant, except a few automotive-related businesses and a handful of chain restaurants. It's also a rough area inhabited by many homeless. So it's inspiring to see people still trying to run local businesses there, like Kelsie's Place, a new soul food restaurant by way of Jamaica just three blocks east of I-95. Kelsie's is one of two open restaurants along that area of Sunrise all the way up to Andrews Ave. that are not fast food chains. And its take on typical Jamaican specialties like jerk chicken, curry chicken, oxtail stew, and rice and peas is worth checking out.

Last week I ordered a couple  of $4.29 lunch specials from the clean, bright white shop. The restaurant looks like a very typical lunch counter inside, with a rather Spartan decor and a small scattering of tables off to the left of the counter. A warming case next to the register contains most of the goods. I had ordered in advance, but the cheerful woman behind the counter held off on assembling my plastic to-go containers of jerk and curry chicken until I got there. (We also ordered hot chicken wings, which were done when I arrived.) I got a choice of white rice or rice and peas -- I got the latter, natch -- and since I ordered the sauceless jerk chicken, she let me choose from any sauce I wanted to top the starch with. She ladled a few thick spoonfuls of dark, rich oxtail gravy over my rice. The tab was less than $20 (and most of that was the wings). I grabbed my collection of bags and took everything to go.

​If you are or have ever been a cubicle slave, you know a good, cheap lunch that isn't one more ham-and-cheese or tuna sandwich can bring a tiny speck of light into the daily grind of pounding big rocks into little rocks for The Man. 

Of course, you don't have to be a cubicle slave or desk drone to appreciate the arepas at Richard Klein's new Arepera on Clematis Street in West Palm Beach, though the folks who live and work in the general vicinity are obvious targets of the modest little eatery on the ground floor of the Via Jardin building. 

Arepas, if you don't know, are the national sandwich of Venezuela, small, chewy rounds of corn-flour dough that are sliced in half and filled with just about anything you want. They're also the focus of the short menu at Arepera (like, duh), though you can also get a salad and a handful of sides and desserts.

​There's nothing like walking into an Italian market and finding it packed with customers debating the pronunciation of gabagool and capicola. Doris' Italian Market is that kind of place. Straight-off-the-boat Italians and hardcore Sopranos wannabes alike flock to Doris' to pick up freshly made Italian sausage, cold cuts, homemade mozzarella cheese, olive salads, and Italian pastries. It's a bad idea to do all that shopping on an empty stomach, so I decided to stop by the deli first and order an Italian combo sub with the works. A minute later, the gentleman behind the counter handed me a sandwich that could dent a car if you dropped it. The sub is on a freshly baked sesame-seed roll, stacked with a couple of inches of cooked ham, capicola, prosciutto, and fresh mozzarella cheese and topped with lettuce, black olives, tomatoes, and onions. I felt like I might need to unhinge my jaw to eat the sub. The bill came out to $6.95, and it ended up saving me at least $20 in the long run. After finishing this sandwich, it's hard to think about buying too much more from the market to bring home.

Doris' Italian Market has locations throughout South Florida. Click here for a list of stores near you and to browse the menu.

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Sure Chili's is a mega-chain restaurant, something we normally shy away from and turn our noses at. But sometimes hitting up a chain is a necessity, like when you're stuck at an airport for an hour long layover or when you're dining with unadventurous family members who refuse to eat anywhere they don't recognize. If you're going to hit up a mega-chain restaurant, you might as well shoot right to the top and go with Chili's, especially with their three courses for $20 special designed for two and all day two for one happy hour.

My Girlfriend Hollie and I drove out to the nearest Chili's (5363 Sheridan Street in Hollywood) to give the special a shot. We breezed past the hostess to sit at the bar for two reasons: the first being the lack of a wait time for a table, the second being close proximity to the never ending fountain of two for one drinks flowing from the bar. A few glossy menus sat at the table advertising the special we were seeking. We're instructed to pick one starter to share, two entrees, and a dessert and assured the bill for the food will not exceed $20.

Photo by Flickr user ulterior epicure

Arepas, hopefully as pretty as these, will headline a new joint on Clematis.

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Recession, you say? Apparently not on Clematis Street, where despite a dining economy that has many restaurateurs contemplating an easier line of work, like shipping out on a tramp steamer to Bolivia, the hits just keep on coming. Two new spots have opened up on the street, both admittedly in the "fast casual" segment of the market:

Hot Pie Pizza (123 Olive St., 561-655-2511) uses a 6,800-pound coal-fired oven to sear your pies at 1,000 degrees, whether a basic tomato, mozzarella, and basil pizza, or a designer pie with prosciutto, arugula, and extra-virgin olive oil. The owner is John Ries, who had Firerock Pizza around the corner before selling out late last year. At Hot Pie, he's also doing oven-roasted chicken wings, a handful of sammies and sides, a quartet of pastas, and an old-fashioned root beer float for dessert. 

Arepera (330 Clematis St., 561-820-8011) is sort of Venezuelan sandwich shop featuring the cornmeal cakes that are a national dish. Prices are cheap -- all but one arepa are under $5 -- and they come stuffed with everything from cheese, avocado, and sweet plantains, to roasted pork with tomatoes and garlic sauce. A handful of sides, salads, and desserts rounds out the menu, which also includes a cheapie breakfast for only $4.95, which, recession or not, is a pretty damned good deal.

Another sort of tart on Palm Beach.

​Just two months ago, New Times called Cafe Boulud the best restaurant in Palm Beach County, a place where local and season ingredients are transformed into perspective-changing meals by Executive Chef Zach Bell. We mentioned then that you don't have to be an Everglades Club member to afford a meal there, and at no other time has this statement been more true. Cafe Boulud is running a host of summer specials that are priced well enough to beat down any recession-related food blues.

All summer long, diners can enjoy a three-course menu for just $35. It's not skimpy either. Start with the house-made charcuterie with artisenal mustard, soup inspired by the freshest ingredients at market that day, or a mesclun salad with shaved fennel and black olives. For your main, tuck into Florida red snapper bouillabaisse-style (bouludabaisse?), mushroom bolognese with fresh pappardelle, or sinful-sounding grilled skirt steak with fried yucca and chimichurri. After a dessert of flourless chocolate cake, chocolate and pistachio profiteroles, vanilla-mango vacherin, or a seasonal fruit strudel, you'll require personal transport to come back down to Earth.

Photo by Eric Barton

It's not hard to find one or two dishes -- usually they're side dishes -- for the vegetarian crowd at many restaurants. Vegetarians become accustomed to the plain goodness of rice and beans and house salads and saying "without cheese, please." Delivery, though? Forget about it. If you're not ordering meat, good luck making the minimum delivery price at most places without at least a pound of lettuce. In fact, vegetarians will drive 30 minutes just so we can have some tasty, well-prepared dish that never had eyes.

Las Olas Gourmet and Wine remedies this problem for veggies in Fort Lauderdale downtown. Not only does it deliver; it's actually got serious garden variety. Try the "classic vegetarian" sandwich (hummus, fresh basil, cucumbers, tomato, extra virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and feta cheese) for $7.95. The hummus wrap is the same; it just comes with chick pea spread (not hummus -- really!). These two dishes epitomize the type of quick lunch that tastes healthy, with its crunchy cucumbers and flavorful basil mixed with soft feta cheese and spread.

Moreover, the falafel in the vegan falafel wrap (pictured) isn't dry or too crunchy. In fact, it is perfectly moist and soft and doesn't fall out of the wrap. If you're not vegan, try the omelet with cheddar sandwich (egg, cheddar cheese, tomato, and basil) for $6.95. Ten out of 13 salads are meatless, and there are plenty of meatless pizzas and platters. And 95 percent of the menu is under $10. Minimum order is $15, or two falafel wraps. Call 954-768-0003, or click here.

Las Olas Gourmet and Wine
111 SE Eighth Ave., Fort Lauderdale
954-768-000
lasolaswines.com

Technically, you'll need just a little more than $7 to enjoy a burger at Flashback Diner, as the menu price is $6.99, so with tax and tip you'll be a little over budget. If you can scrounge up the extra couple of bucks, though, it's not a decision you'll soon regret. Flashback Diner is an old school greasy-spoon-type eatery, and it's open 24 hours, giving you a much better late-night option than a fast-food joint does. The menu is loaded with platters and sandwiches with cutesy Hollywood names like the Mae West (Southern fried chicken on a kaiser bun with honey mustard) or the Telly Savalas (chicken and veggie kebab on rice with pita bread). If you're looking to keep the bill under $10, you're best sticking with the burgers. Choose between a half-pound beef patty, a turkey burger, or a veggie burger, all served on a fluffy kaiser bun and accompanied by soup, potato, or French fries. The turkey burger is thick and juicy, perfectly seasoned with salt and pepper, and big enough that it's hard to fit into your gaping maw. The French fries are thin and very crispy, and the combo is going to leave you with a packed stomach, no matter if you're just looking for lunch or something to soak up the alcohol from a long night's bender.

Flashback Diner is located at 220 S. Federal Hwy. in Hallandale Beach. Call 954-454-8300.

John Linn

A little bit of perspective. Click any pic for a high-res version.

For years we've praised the deli counter sandwiches made at Fort Lauderdale's My Market, a convenience store/bodega with a thriving sub shop attached. And for good reason: each of the fifty-some varieties are made with bread baked fresh daily, quality deli meat (what's not Boar's Head is usually made in house), vibrant vegetables and herbs, and fruity olive oil. No other sandwich there is more exemplary of this commitment than the prosciutto roma, a hulking tank of a sub slathered with a pungent cascade of sliced prosciutto, thick wedges of fragrant tomato, sweet slices of fresh mozzarella, floral basil leaves, and streams of olive oil and Balsamic vinegar. The kicker, though, is the chewy, hard-crusted ciabatta bread, a starch so hearty it works your jaw out harder than a Richard Simmons tape. This loaf is a beast - nearly half-a-foot wide and almost two inches thick, it takes a mean appetite to down it in one sitting. The small portion is also a steal at $7.99: it's over six inches long, and every last spec of doughy real estate is crammed with buttery, tender prosciutto, all meaty and salty and sweet. The large feeds two or more hungry folk at just $13.99. With as much meat and fresh cheese as My Market pumps into this beast, you'd probably pay way more just buying the fixins' at another deli. But that's just another bit of beauty about My Market: you don't necessarily pay premium prices for premium goods.

After the jump, the hot, hot money shots.

If you're not a subscriber to our weekly Café Bites dining newsletter for Broward and Palm Beach counties, here's a taste of what you missed this week. Click here to subscribe.

Chef Johnny Vinczencz earned the nickname "Caribbean Cowboy" for his inspired take on Caribbean, Southwestern, and Florida flavors, and his gastronomic ingenuity has made his flagship restaurant on Las Olas a favorite since it opened five years ago. The creative flavors at Johnny V Las Olas just got a whole lot more affordable with the introduction of a $35 summer dinner special offered every night (but only from 5 to 7 p.m. on Friday and Saturdays).

The "summer stimulus" starts with an amuse bouche designed by the Caribbean Cowboy himself and includes an appetizer, entrée, and dessert. The menu choices will change regularly but recently featured a crab-potato cake with Cruzan rum sauce to start, pulled basil chicken on wild mushroom risotto as a main course, and peach shortcake with caramel mousse to finish.

Johnny V also has a new happy hour from 5 to 7 every night with a $5 tapas menu featuring hits such as beef tenderloin tips with grilled flour tortillas and potato croquettas with Serrano ham, mahon cheese, and sherry aioli. Beers, select wines, and cocktails are two-for-one.

John Linn

They're nekkid!

There's no getting around it: When you eat a Primanti-style sandwich at Primanti Brothers, you feel like a glutton of the highest degree. The Pittsburgh-based sandwich company (whose only locations outside of PA are in South Florida) is famous for jamming everything that would normally be in a lunch platter between two slices of chewy Italian bread and daring you to eat it all in one sitting. If you're feeling up to the challenge, try their number-two best-selling item, the Pitts-Burger, which will run you $6.36 after tax. It's a well-done slab of ground beef covered in melted provolone cheese, then slapped on a fresh, inch-thick slice of Italian bread before being covered in thick-cut French fries and a heaping handful of coleslaw, topped with a slice of tomato and another slice of bread. It's amazing that the sandwich works on any level with all those competing ingredients, but it does. The coleslaw isn't drowned in mayonnaise; instead, it's made with an Italian dressing that seeps into the bread and French fries. The cheese binds the fries to the meat patty, and the bread soaks up every drop of liquid without becoming soggy thanks to the thickness. Just be warned: If you decide to take down a Pitts-Burger, plan on taking a nap shortly thereafter. This massive sandwich will leave even the most seasoned glutton feeling the sandman tugging at his eyelids.

Primanti Brothers has two locations in South Florida, one at 516 E. Oakland Park Blvd. in Oakland Park, the other at 901 N. Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd. in Fort Lauderdale. Visit the website for a full menu and directions.

Photos by Bill Citara

The world's most omnivorous, omnipresent purveyor of junk food is now crashing the rather more upscale salons of junque cuisine. 

That would be McDonald's, which last week spat up a trio of 100 percent Angus beef burgers. Launched to compete with the tonier patties of eateries like Five Guys, Fuddruckers, and Cheeburger Cheeburger, the Angus burgers feature a "premium" braided sesame seed bun and various toppings intended to be more life-like than the DOA garnishes of its proletarian cousins. The third-of-a-pound burgers come in Deluxe, Mushroom & Swiss, and Bacon & Cheese guises and will set you back $3.99. They will also contribute from 750 to 790 calories to your steadily expanding gut or thighs, 350 to 360 of those calories from fat. 

So what does the damned thing taste like?

Sometimes spending under seven bucks on lunch can leave you feeling... well, hungry. That is not the case with Sal's Italian Ristorante's lunch specials. For a penny less than six bucks, Sal's hooks you up with a cup of soup or a house salad, a slice of cheese pizza, and a half sub (chicken parm, Italian, meatball parm, eggplant parm, or ham and cheese). Sal's cheese pizza is thin-crust, New York-style, with sweet tomato sauce and just enough oregano sprinkled on top to give it some kick. The chicken parm sub comes out on baked bread that is crispy on the outside, chewy on the inside, and over six inches long. The chicken is lightly breaded and smothered in tomato sauce and bubbly mozzarella cheese. For $6.41 (including tax), Sal's lunch specials really fill you up and give you enough choice to ensure you'll be back for more.

Sal's has locations throughout South Florida. Click here for a full list.

You'll have to do a little ordering at Carini's to get a filling "meal" for under $7, but it's worth the effort. Carini's is a New York-style pizza joint on Federal Highway in Hallandale Beach worth visiting for the cheap appetizers alone. The mini rice balls (which are about the size of an apricot) are stuffed with cheese and beef before being battered and fried. The result is stunning: a light and crispy outside with soft gooey cheese-infused rice on the inside. If you tire of the rice balls before you're full, switch to the mini spinach rolls. It's pizza dough stuffed with spinach and cheese and topped with poppy seeds and garlic butter, then rolled cinnamon-bun style and baked to a golden brown. Four rice balls and four spinach rolls come out to just six dollars and should keep you satiated until you're ready to come back with a few more dollars to try the pizza.

Carini's Pizza & Pasta is located at 814 N. Federal Hwy. in Hallandale Beach. Call 954-457-4444.

Hurricane Grill and Wings won a Best Of award this year for best wings, so I just had to check it out. Luckily enough, I walked in to the Plantation location just after 2 p.m. and was handed a lunch-special menu. So long as you purchase a drink (fountain drink or beer), you can choose from four meals: a burger, chicken sandwich, chicken caesar salad, or a wing platter for $4.99. I went with the boneless wing platter, and I'm glad I did.

With more than 30 sauces to choose from, ordering wings can be a chore. After much deliberating, I went with the Garlic & Parmesan wings mixed with hot sauce. A few minutes after placing the order, a basket arrived at my table with five boneless wings, some celery, and a cup of blue cheese. Normally, having only five boneless wings for lunch would raise some red flags, but these boneless wings were huge. Easily the size of their bone-in counterparts, each wing was drenched in hot sauce and covered in a garlic and parmesan crust. Crunchy on the outside, juicy on the inside, and literally popping with flavor, these wings certainly deserve to be considered for any best-of list. My only complaint is the size of the meal. Although the wings were big, having only five and a couple of pieces of celery had me planning for an early dinner. Still, for a shade under $7, it's well worth the time to check out Hurricane Wings.

Photos by Eric Barton

Bravo's lechon sandwich.

The postcard-sized menu at Bravo! Gourmet Sandwich Shop in Wilton Manors promises: "The Best sandwich you'll ever taste!" Those are big words in the world of sandwiches, but the thing is, Bravo just might live up to that promise.

Bravo's Peruvian sandwiches are full of juicy pork, flavorful country ham, and well-spiced onions, all served on these bulky, flaky buns that perfectly soak up the meat juices and spicy sauce.

So why didn't New Times give them an award in our Best Of Broward-Palm Beach edition this year?

I have a confession: Before last weekend, I'd never stepped foot into a Five Guys restaurant. I've heard hundreds of people talk about the chain, seen passionate emails fired back and forth debating the merits of their French fries, and read more than a few glowing reviews. I've just never searched out the chain to try it out for myself. That is, until you, the readers, voted Five Guys into a tie for best burger in Broward/Palm Beach. I'd like to thank each and every one of you personally, as this was easily the finest burger I've had at a chain.

I walked up to the crowded counter and ordered the Bacon Cheeseburger with ketchup, pickles, and jalapenos. A few minutes later, a gentleman screamed out my number and handed me a small paper bag with my burger and a few napkins tucked inside. By the time I'd brought the bag back to my table, the grease from the burger was already seeping out the side of the foil it was wrapped in and staining the brown paper bag. Before I even sat down all the way in my chair, I'd opened the foil and stared in amazement at the burger. Two patties, bacon crumbles, and jalapenos all melted together under a couple of slices of cheese.

The burger dripped grease with every bite, and despite the fact that this may have taken a few years off my life, each mouthful was followed by a semi-orgasmic moan. The patties were well done, as they always are, but still so juicy with grease and cheese that it tasted closer to medium rare than well. I'm completely convinced that no chain does burgers better than Five Guys. Especially when you've only got to pay just under $6 for a little slice of heaven.

A lot of the time in this weekly feature, we fit just under the $7 budget, leaving little left over for say a drink, a dessert or an antacid. That is most certainly not the case this week: La Granja fast(ish) food restaurants are here to hook your wallet and stomach up. La Granja is a semi-fast (meaning it's quick, but their food isn't sitting under heat lamps waiting to be ordered) Peruvian style restaurant chain located across south Florida, and once you stop in there once, you're sure to be back quite often. Take for instance the $3.95 Rotisserie chicken lunch special. For under $4, you get a quarter chicken (Drumstick and breast included) a large bowl of black beans and a small mountain of rice. Even though the meal is very inexpensive, it doesn't taste that way: The chicken is so juicy it seems like it's been marinating for a month, with a crisp outer skin keeping it all in. The black beans and rice are... well they're black beans and rice. It's hard to mess those up so long as they're cooked properly, and they are. Totaling $4.23 after tax, you'll have plenty of cash left over for a side of fried banana, some tostones or flan, but it's doubtful you'll have much room left without loosening your belt.
 
La Granja has locations all throughout Florida. Click here for a list.

It's not exactly hard to find a cheap place for breakfast. There are hundreds of chains offering the typical eggs, pig product, and fried potato for a couple of bucks, but they normally come with a much bigger cost. Try eating at a big-time chain or fast-food restaurant for breakfast and see how productive your day is. If you're anything like me, you'll spend more time wrestling with your intestines and the realization that you just ate mass-produced slop to start your day.

JP's Bagel Place in Hollywood, winner of New Times' 2008 best service in a restaurant, will not cause any regrets to your wallet, your GI tract, or your good conscience. JP's is a small restaurant, and by small, I mean microscopic. Twenty people seems to be about the maximum that will comfortably fit in the booths and along the old diner-style bar. Once you're in, though, it's smooth sailing. The service is fast and friendly, the menu is loaded with freshly baked, boiled, and fried breakfast foods, and it's all priced to please (so long as you bring cash... no credit cards here).

I ordered French toast with a side of home fries. The entire order came out less than five minutes after I placed the order. The four slices of toast were thick, perfectly crispy on the outside, and fluffy and buttery on the inside. The fried potatoes were crispy and perfectly seasoned with salt and pepper right off the grill. In less time than it took to cook the order, I'd devoured it and was presented with a check for $5.08. This could become a habit.

With one season (tourist) gone and another season (hurricane) upon us, local restaurants are stepping up summer promotions to make sure this season (of the witch) isn't their last.

Latest is Boca's ZED451, the foodie churrascaria, which recently cut the price of its prix fixe. The all-you-can-gobble-until-your-stomach-explodes dinner menu dropped from $55 to $39 per person.

There's also the "ZED Unplugged" happy hour, sort of like MTV Unplugged with snacks and no Kurt Cobain. Acoustic musicians Adam Fine, Jerry Leeman and Carl Schmid will perform, accompanied by $4 brewskis and $5 house wines and well drinks, as well as munchies from deviled eggs and spiced nuts to grilled sirloin salad and linguica sliders, with prices ranging from $2 to $6. All this happens daily from 5 p.m. until closing or until the seasons say otherwise.

They'll take you there...

"El Autentico Sabor de la Comida Dominicana," reads the menu at this Pompano Beach hole-in-the-wall. And it's authentic Dominican Republic fare, all right. Homemade specials at Latin Conga!  change daily, but once they run out, forget your craving for fried chicken chunks or seafood soup. It pays to show up either for lunch or early in the evening if you want to be sure you'll be tucking into a bowl of oxtail stew (Wednesday though Saturday), stewed goat (Thursday and Friday), stewed cod fish (Tuesday) or Dominican soup (Friday and Sunday).

We'd gone specifically for the oxtail stew last Saturday (not surprisingly, they'd run out by 8 p.m.), but we settled for a grilled marinated skirt steak with sauteed purple onions, a big pile of spicy and satisfyingly oily roast pork, many cartons of rather dry plantains, excellent black beans and rice, hearty red bean soup, and what they were calling "fried salami,"  delicious, fiery slices of what looked like thick bologna -- totally satisfying in a very decadent way. Not a dish on this menu costs more than $15, and most of it costs considerably less.

Once you get hooked (and you will, the food's great) you'll find yourself spending a lot of time over at Latin Conga!. Brush up on your karaoke skills for Friday's beer specials and Rey Rumba Karaoke from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m., where if you pay attention, you may even learn some authentic Dominican tunes.

Latin Conga!
1280 S. Powerline Rd.
Pompano Beach
954-969-1646
Open for lunch and dinner

http://www.flickr.com/photos/revjim5000/

You gotta give it up for Grease Burger Bar. . . the name tells you everything you need to know about this Clematis Street newbie.

There's a bar, a big one, about half a city block long -- all dark, hulking wood lit by bare bulbs hanging from meathooks suspended from the ceiling. There are burgers, 10-ounce patties as thick and big around as truck tires -- eight different kinds, ground fresh daily and hand-shaped, with stuff like cheese and bacon and onions and even a fried egg to customize them with until you can't fit your gums around the thing.

And there is grease. Bite into one of these bad boys and the juices and molten fat dribble all over your chin and pool on your paper-covered plate. But you know what they say: fat = flavor. And Grease's burgers are pretty good, at least if you order them medium-rare, which the kitchen hits with admirable consistency. (If you order a burger anything past medium you deserve that mouthful of beef-infused sawdust.)

You can order your burger with chili, green it with organic, free-range beef from Brandt Farms in California (the priciest patty on the menu at $11.95; the others range from $7.95 to $10.95). Or wuss out with a turkey or veggie burger. (But why?)

Of course, any burger demands fries, and at Grease these come in portions large enough to feed three, gorge two or send one into cholesterol shock. They're skinny and crisp, with a suspiciously crunchy coating that suggests Sysco's Imperial Phantom Plus frozen french fries or some facsimile thereof. But they're fried and potatoes, and accompanied by a splot of catsup and a fat, greasy burger. What's more Amurkin than that?

Walking into Barista's Coffee Boutique in the Ramada Executive Center is more like visiting someone's kitchen than a restaurant. Order the bacon, egg and onion croissant and rather than seeing a chef slave away over a big stove, she walks to a 20 inch electric skillet, carefully cracks a couple eggs, places the onions just above them, and three strips of bacon around the sides. There's not enough room to cook any more than that, but the careful attention to detail comes through. The chef places the over-easy eggs on a sliced croissant, places the onions and bacon on top and closes the croissant. The over sized croissant is fresh, flaky and has a sweet-butter coating that leaves flakes of croissant sticking to the back of your teeth with every bite.

For $4.23, The egg, onion, and bacon croissant at Barista's Coffee Boutique is a great way to start your day. Barista's is located at 1926 Hollywood Blvd on the bottom floor of the Ramada Executive Center. Call 954-620-0223 or visit the website for more information.

A sandwich is a sandwich is a sandwich. Unless it's a chivito. The chivito, for those of you unlucky enough not to have wrapped your gums around one, is the national sandwich of Uruguay, a sort of Latin-esque breakfast-slash-lunch McManwich for the kind of guy or gal who'd jump Ronald McDonald in a parking lot, steal his ratty wig and beat him to death with one of his stupid, over-sized boots.  

Your typical chivito is jammed with thin slices of beef, crispy bacon, mozzarella, lettuce, tomato and fried eggs, with perhaps a slathering of mayo. A full meal on a bun, it doesn't just satisfy your hunger but grabs it by the throat and shakes until it begs for mercy. And where can you get one of these appetite-destroying McManwiches without a long flight to Uruguay or even longer drive to Miami's esteemed El Rey del Chivito?

Uh, Wellington?

And you thought the best thing about Mother's Day was the satisfaction you get from making your mom feel like the most special lady on Earth, for at least the course of one homemade brunch. Actually, the best part is the leftover bacon -- enough fatty, crispy slices of swine so as to be able to create the World's Most Perfect Sandwich only hours after gorging oneself on omelets and French toast. I'm talking, of course, about the BLT.

Is there anything better than a bacon sandwich, all salty and smoky and fatty, topped with crunchy, grassy romaine lettuce, thin slices of tart tomatoes, and laced with a generous swath of creamy mayonnaise? Until the day when we all have personal robot chefs who can duplicate to a T the cooking of world-class chefs in our own kitchens (and slightly before the Great Robot Uprising to follow), that answer is no.