Powdered Alcohol Is a Thing: No Snorting Necessary
In fact, don't. Do not snort it. Seriously. It's sad we have to say these things.
Mudd1 via Wikimedia Commons
When it comes to powdery white substances, we tend to think flour, sugar, and, obviously, cocaine.
The former are plainly used for creating our favorite baked goods and pastries.
And the latter... well, you know what that's all about.
Turns out we're about to see our newest mind-altering white powder; it's supposed to cross the line between taste-bud sensation and a good buzz.
Palcohol, a powdered alcohol substance, was recently approved by the federal government, which means we're probably going to see a new trend of snorting yourself into alcohol poisoning. (This is why we can't have nice things.)
Distilled from cane, the product is said to be made from premium Puerto Rican rum. A vodka version also exists.
You're probably asking "why" right about now.
Because "Sometimes liquid isn't convenient. Because Palcohol is powder, you can take it anywhere to enjoy a cocktail. That's why we say: Take your Pal wherever you go!," says the company.
Screw your flask. Fuck the bartender's flair. It's all about getting shwasted in a jiffy these days -- no mixers necessary.
Even with the stress on convenience, the company warns that it's not supposed to be snorted. According to the site:
We have seen comments about goofballs wanting to snort it. Don't do it! It is not a responsible or smart way to use the product. To take precautions against this action, we've added volume to the powder so it would take more than a half of a cup of powder to get the equivalent of one drink up your nose. You would feel a lot of pain for very little gain. Just use it the right way.
We're sure you -- and your idiot kids -- will listen to the firm warning.
Now, you're probably wondering, what's the purpose of a powdery substance if it's not going up your schnoz? So you can take your booze everywhere with you, silly. Because there's no such thing as having fun without getting drunk.
The company expects it to hit the market this fall.
Follow Sara Ventiera on Twitter, @saraventiera.