Stoner Food: Four Fast Food Dishes to Satisfy the Munchies
With states like Colorado and Washington legalizing weed, it's only a matter of time before it's medically allowed across the country -- we can hope, at least.
Recently, our fare state was the first in the south to add a medical marijuana initiative to the ballot for November.
Whether it will pass or not, we have no idea (fingers crossed!), but we figured it appropriate to plan ahead, with some munchies.
We found the four best -- or strangest -- stoner dishes to order up from the big chains.
(Word to the wise: you probably only want to eat these things when you're high).
Pizza Hut's 3-Cheese Stuffed Crust Pizza
Pizza has long been the stoner's food preference of choice. Whether it's accessibility -- it's available late-night without leaving the house -- or the amazing combo of tangy tomato sauce, crisp dough, and salty cheese, it's beloved by potheads across the world. With all that perfect in one handheld slice, it's hard to imagine any need for improvement, but Pizza Hut has figured out a way to step it up a notch in the muchies world -- the chain has stuffed the crust with not just one, or two, gooey cheeses, it has added three varietals of cheese (that probably taste exactly the same) to its outer rim of pie. If there's one thing you need more of when you're stoned (aside from more weed, obviously) it's plasticized cheese.
Subway's Fritos® Chicken Enchilada Melt
Subway is known as the healthy restaurant chain (minus, of course the yoga mat material found in its bread). Just ask Jared. The chain recently released (and has been promoting like crazy) it's new Fritos® Chicken Enchilada Melt, a super healthy combination of Fritos, pulled chicken, and enchilada sauce. The melt is so stoner appropriate, the chain got none other than munchie master Olympian Michael Phelps to promote it. Way to market appropriately, Subway!
Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos
Potheads tend to gravitate toward anything from a vending machine (close, easy, and no awkward interactions with a clerk that might know you're high) and Taco Bell (basically, the same). So, this chain decided to combine two wasted late-night favorites and turn them into one sodium-packed handheld combo. It's kind of like that time you tried to make nachos out of stale Doritos and old shredded cheese in your fridge, but better (or, at least, we hope so).
Even sober people like ribs. While this limited-time-only sandwich has an obsessed following that waits year-round for its release, we've heard (from a friend) that these restructured pork sandwiches are like heaven between two buns when you're stoned. While we're not sure what the reconstituted meat actually is (some part of the pig, apparently), we don't care as long as its covered in barbecue sauce -- and available in the wee hours of the morning.
Follow Sara Ventiera on Twitter, @saraventiera.