For Kim Rothstein, Martha Stewart Might Know Best

Categories: Musings
KimRothstein.jpg
Kim Rothstein (left) isn't going to like prison food.

The food Kim Rothstein might get in prison will be far different from what she and Ponzi schemer husband Scott Rothstein enjoyed while living fat off money taken from clients of his law firm, Rothstein Rosenfeldt Adler.

In early February, she pleaded guilty on a conspiracy charge to commit money laundering. In late 2012, it was revealed that she hid more than $1 million worth of jewelry from the government, including a 12.08-carat diamond ring worth $450,000.

While Rothstein's mental health is being evaluated before sentencing, she can rest easy knowing she'll get three squares a day. The Federal Bureau of Prison's menus from 2012 show some interesting, even ethnic cuisine.

We'd try the Spanish omelet and packaged cream of wheat on Sunday afternoons. Some Wednesday nights offered chicken cacciatore and macaroni salad. A Tuesday lunch of canned sardines and potato chips might sound off-putting, but the perception of the oily, silver little fish has been on the rise thanks to their importance in Spanish cuisine.

Breakfast most mornings included fresh fruit and some kind of hot cereal, which plenty of people on the outside eat. Who cares if the oatmeal doesn't contain organic, steel-cut Irish oats?

The scariest meals look to be those with highly processed proteins. Who knows what's in the lunch bologna served Thursdays? Monday's lunches were franks and beans, which if they reappear will be the only ones she might see for a while as her husband serves a 50-year sentence.

If all else fails, Rothstein can follow the guidance of the ultimate prison food McGyver, Martha Stewart. The queen of refinement served five months in a minimum-security West Virginia prison for conspiracy and making false statements to federal investigators during an insider-trading scandal.

In prison, she was known as M. Diddy and the Contraband Queen. Fellow inmates said she smuggled brown sugar, cinnamon, powdered sugar, and other baking supplies out of the kitchen, in her underwear, to whip up some specialties in her cell, according to the Baltimore Sun.

Scott Rothstein was once a partner in the now-closed Las Olas steak house Bova Prime. We won't be surprised if it turns out Kim is found swiping some of the ground meat used in Friday night Salisbury steaks (if they're not prefrozen) to create something special.



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