Five Craziest Spring Break Stories From Downtown Fort Lauderdale's Bartenders

Categories: The Verbal Nosh

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Logan Fazio
Spring Break is known as a month of complete chaos for Fort Lauderdale bartenders. It's kind of like babysitting a bunch of overgrown toddlers. In the heat of the moment, restaurant staff probably fantasize about punching these amateurs in the face. How would you feel if you have to wipe some stranger's projectile vomit? Yeah, our thoughts exactly.

While these experiences might not be funny at the time, they make for hilarious stories later. We got some downtown Fort Lauderdale bartenders to share their most ridiculous Spring Break stories. Lots of naked, lots of vomit, and lots of flatulence for the win!

See also:
- Spring Break is Here: Five Places to Avoid the Amateurs
- Best Spring Break Drink Specials in Fort Lauderdale

Urinating in Public
While it is not uncommon to find random college kids peeing in ridiculous places, you would hope they could at least keep it to the Frat House. That was not the case with one Frat Boy last spring break. One random bartender had the unfortunate encounter of finding himself in a dark corner of the bar with a Spring Breaker nuzzled up in a corner by himself. When the bartender asked the Spring Breaker what he was doing, he was met with the response, "I'm pissing. what does it look like?" Needless to say, the Breaker was kicked out of the bar with his pants down. Talk about getting caught redhanded.

Projectile Vomiting
Puking and college kids kind of go hand in hand. What else would you expect from a teenager drinking Long Islands? Again, while they know vomiting college kids are just a thing, bartenders don't want to have to deal with the mess. In one downtown bar, an already shwasted Breaker walked up to the bar to order a few Four Horsemen, a shot of straight-up Jim Bean, Jack Daniels, Johnny Walker Black, and Jose Cuervo. We want to puke just thinking about it. The Breaker then proceeded to make his way toward the bathroom Private Ryan-style: slowly falling to the ground as if he were being shot. Unfortunately, his nasty drink concoction decided to make its way up as he was going down, in a projectile format. The worst part came when he landed in it and had to get dragged out by the bouncers, covered in vomit. Now there's a way to make an exit.

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