What Kind of Burrito Eater Are You?

Categories: Food Fun
lime2.jpg
Hot sauces from Lime Mexican Grill
The opening of Lime has been pushed back one more day until tomorrow's dinner, Clean Plate Charlie learned when we stopped by the chain. Damn. We've been hankering for burritos all week. To distract ourselves from the disappointment, we sized up each burrito place on Federal Highway and paired each with a persona. What kind of (guy) burrito eater are you? Find out after the jump.

1) The Hothead
The Restaurant: Tijuana Flats
Attire: Jeans, Vans, and a college T-shirt.
Soundtrack: Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself for Lovin' You"
Backdrop: Bumper stickers on corrugated metal: "Clear the Road. I'm Sixteen," and "Boys Lie." Sauces are bossy: Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally is one, Don't Be a Chicken Shit is another.
The Food: A taster's notes: "The veggie burrito is hearty (so much so that i kept checking for meat) and was tasty enough, if a tad on the bland side, at first bite. And then -- whammo! -- it hit me with a sneak attack from some peppers tucked away in there somewhere, giving it a real kick." If you like your hot sauces, this is the place to be, as it looks like the sundae fixins bar. The chips are ancient.
The Price: $16.28 for a veggie and a meat and bean burrito


2) The Pothead
The Restaurant: Baja Fresh
Attire: Flip-flops, plaid shorts, and an ironic "Endless Summer" decal on a wife beater
Soundtrack: Barry Manilow's "Copacabana" (also ironic)
Backdrop: Signage of how green the place is on the door. Black-and-white-tiled floor. Hurried service. "Which of the five burritos are you talking about?" One of the shortest drives from downtown.
The Food: A taster's notes: "Inside looks like dog food. Guacamole included is a nice plus. Burrito is crispy, tastes almost fried. Carnitas meat is salty with a redolent tang." The best chips for the munchies.
The Price: $12.07 for a veggie and a meat and bean burrito

3) The Health Nerd
The Restaurant: The Whole Enchilada
Attire: Scrubs
Soundtrack: Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Bad Moon Rising"
Backdrop: Line out the door with every kind of character. Rustic interior. "Here are our five healthiest choices," said the cashier more than once to a customer.
The Food: A taster's notes: "The veggie burrito is smushier than the others, with a texture almost like mashed potatoes. There's a sweetness to it, but it seems to be wanting for something more." Best salsa bar of the five also features an array of hot sauces and cilantro that hadn't yet wilted.
The Price: $15.78 for a veggie and a meat and bean burrito

4) The Cheap Ass
The Restaurant: Zona Fresca
Attire: Office worker casual Friday
Soundtrack: Mariachi loop
Backdrop: Fresher Taco Bell with real meat
The Food: A taster's notes: "Though it's very simple, and one might say plain, the burrito tastes good. Black beans aren't exactly authentically Mexican, but they have flavor. Not a meal to eat before or on a date." Fastest service, largest number of people. The salsa bar looks sad and mealy.
The Price: $11.66 for a veggie and a meat and bean burrito

5) The Carnivorous Environmentalist
The Restaurant: Chipotle
Attire: Cargo shorts, band-T, a beard
Soundtrack: Willie Nelson's cover of Coldplay's "The Scientists" (Unlike the rest of the shops, this wasn't the actual song playing during our visit. Since Chipotle has its own song, we thought we'd include it here.)
Backdrop: Minimalist, fast, clean
The Food: Delicious, fast fuel made from happy pigs and beans.
The Price: $14.20 for a veggie and a meat and bean burrito




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3 comments
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Guest
Guest

i do not understand how you are calculating these prices. 

MelissaMcCart
MelissaMcCart

I went there and bought them and copied the number on the receipt.

John L.
John L.

"The salsa bar looks sad and mealy."

Obviously this person never tasted the Zona Fresca salsa, because it blows anything else in South Florida so far out of the water. It is the salsa of unicorn horns and baby tears. 

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