A Valentine For Chick-Fil-A (And A Taste-Off)

Tim Hawkins might love Chick-fil-A as much as he loves Jesus. By the way, this is one of two songs about Chick-fil-A from Christian singers.

I'd never had Chick-fil-A sandwich until four years ago.  It was while getting a pedicure in a Richmond mall, where I'll be should I ever need to go in the Witness Protection Program, since it's among the most unlikely places you'd find me in this life.

I was visiting my friend Robin with Meg, my DC buddy who went to University of Richmond with her. As we sat ducks in a row in our chairs, their conversation spiraled into a discussion of guilty pleasure foods and landed on the classic sandwich that inspires mad passions.

"Melissa," they asked. "Why are you quiet?" I confessed I'd never been to Chick-fil-A before.  Jesus chicken hadn't reach the landscape of New York, Massachusetts, or New Jersey where I'd lived most of my life.

My friend Robin was horrified. She bolted from her chair, grabbed a pair of paper flip flops, and proceeded semi-barefoot through the mall -- mid-pedicure-- so she could buy me a sandwich immediately. 

"This is perfection," she said, as she brought it to me and unwrapped it from its foil bag, much like Charlie ripped open his Wonka Bar for the golden ticket. "You will become addicted."

I may be one of the few who have eaten Chick-fil-A in a nail salon. There's plenty wrong with that, I can assure you.

I remember less about the sandwich -- aside from the salty, savory chicken and the sweetness of pickles-- than the expression on my friends' faces,  eyes glued to my mouth as they attempted to indoctrinate me. It was pretty good. They looked a little crestfallen. I felt bad that I wasn't going to count myself among the Northern converts to sprint through airports to grab one between flights, doubly so after stories like this.

Read more here: http://blogs.kansas.com/dining/2011/09/08/chick-fil-a-whats-the-big-deal/#storylink=cp
Charm City chicken sandwich
Even though I'm not of the flock, I respect Chick-fil-A even when they don't respect others. So when I heard that the guys behind Charm City Burger were doing their own spin on Chick-fil-A sandwiches, I was surprised. Isn't that blasphemy? A taste-off was in order.  Here's the point for point comparison.

The Presentation: Both chicken sandwiches are delivered in the foil-wrapped bag emblazoned with company logos. In both cases, the logos are just cute enough.
Winner: Chick-fil-A. I can't resist the cows.

The Bun: Chick-Fil-A's steamy white buttered bun faces off against Charm City's sesame number that's more crusty and less squishy than the chain's.
Winner: Charm City's bun is better.

The Breast: The breast to bun ratio for Chick-fil-A is like a little bird nestled in a nest. (I'm being generous here. Robert Sietsema likens them to "tired mush.") Charm City chicken, in contrast, juts obscenely over the sides. Yet this bird is juicer and more flavorful.
Winner: Charm City

Chick-fil-A's classic
The Breading: Here's Chick-fil-A's breading: seasoned coater [enriched bleached flour {bleached wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid}, sugar, salt, monosodium glutamate, nonfat milk, leavening {baking soda, sodium aluminum phosphate, monocalcium phosphate}, spice, soybean oil, color {paprika}], milk wash [water, whole powdered egg and nonfat milk solids], peanut oil [fully refined peanut oil with TBHQ and citric acid added to preserve freshness and dimethylpolysiloxane an anti-foaming agent added].

A cook demonstrated how Charm City's breading is like that of a chicken fried steak. A breast is seasoned and brushed with egg, then rolled in flour. That's all.
Winner: Tie. 

The People: Chick-fil-A had a whole lot of kids and a couple of characters. Charm City was inked folks and owners. My favorite outfit of the day was a woman in a black studded skirt, fishnets, Chucks, and a wife-beater half shirt.
Winner: Charm City. A beer-drinking, inked crowd wins out over crying babies.

The Service: It took 38 seconds after I paid to get my sandwich. I got a hand towel, a mint, and tableside water service from Chick-fil-A. They even asked if I wanted my photo taken with it when I whipped out my camera phone.

At Charm City, it took 15 minutes for my chicken breast that was cooked to order. Which would have been awhile, except I like the people there so it went quickly. I could sit at a bar and drink a beer. 
Winner: Tough call, but table side service, hand towels, and the correct order tips it to Chick-fil-A.

The Price: Chick-fil-A was $3.17 for a plain sandwich. Charm City's chicken breast is $5.25.
Winner: Charm City for higher quality ingredients and a made to order sandwich for just a couple bucks more.

What's missing? Charm City needs bread and butter pickles so they'll stir devotion that inspires song.

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Melissa bases her vapid opinions on what she likes, not what is excellent.  Since her tastes are pretentious, trendy and brainless, this is a problem.

Chik-fil-A is not “Jesus” chicken.  They do not push the owner’s religious beliefs on their customers in any way.  But as a drooling liberal, Melissa just has to vomit out a sneer.  Pointless and of no value in a restaurant review.  Duh the first. 

The link to the snide story about a teller punching in a careless name on the receipt is also stupid.  Chik-fil-A hires thousands of tellers, most of whom have little education and are very young.  It is not surprising that one of them is clueless.  BFD and Melissa did not experience this herself, but is content to repeat somebody else’s slur.  Duh the second.

Comparing a custom sandwich to a mass-market one is asinine.  It is very easy to provide a superior product when you:A    Use premium meat and breadB    Have a chef cook itC    Take 60 times as long to deliver the meal.D    Charge double the amount

Duh the third and she’s out.

Chik-fil-A provides an excellent product when it is compared to the crap served by McDonalds, BK and all the rest.  Melissa should do that comparison or better yet, just shut up.

Prof. G
Prof. G

This sentence is illiterate:

I may be one of the few who has eaten Chick-fil-A in a nail salon.

Has should be have. This verb is not part of the main clause. This verb is part of the prepositional phrase, and it does NOT go with one. It goes with few. Diagram the sentence.

This, however, would be correct:

I am one who has eaten ... Here the has DOES go with the one.

Once the prepositional phrase starts, the main clause is over.

Pitiful writing.


 yes, dennis. if i were a dude you'd be back slapping me.


Thanks. you're right. The sentence is wrong. thanks for not assailing my character while I was writing in the 14th hour of the work day.


 Sorry you didn't raise the Chick Fil A hates gays issue. the WinShape Foundation is their "charitable" arm.

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