Humiliate Your Dog For Halloween: Ten Terrible Food Costumes For Fido

Categories: Rants

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​Your dog gives you unconditional love every day of his life. Seriously! Has a human ever greeted you with such fierce devotion?  Sure, he peed on the carpet and he licks his butt, but if you want to punish your dog, take away his favorite chew toy. But in the name of all that's good in the world, don't dress him like a freaking piece of sushi.

Sadly, there are still some people who think it's hill-a--reee---ous to dress their pug up for Halloween. Just a reminder - your dog is an adult animal, capable of reproducing (well, before you cut his balls off, that is), foraging for food and chasing the neighborhood cat. Not wearing a wig. Here are the ten largest crimes against canines we could find.  Shame on you!

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10. Pumpkin

You might think putting a pumpkin on a pug is adorable (look at those little neck wrinkles), but your dog is in abject misery. See how she backs away from the Milk Bone?  You've just given her body issues that will take years of doggie therapy to fix.


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9. Hot Dog
Sure, sure, a hot dog in a hot dog.  Cute, right!  Wrong! This is stereotyping at it's most blatant. After you slept with your boss at the Christmas party, you hated being labeled the office tramp, so why call your Dauchshund a hot dog?  Same principle.

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8.  Taco
Yo quiero Taco Bell?  How about "Yo Quiero my peeing in your new shoes? Or humping your new girlfriend?"  If you dress your dog as a taco, be prepared for serious consequences.

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7. Sushi
Oh jeez lady, that's not even a costume - it's the inside of the throw pillow that I chewed up spray painted pink. Then you glued the container from yesterday's lunch on it.  Not only are you a bad dog owner - you're a bad costumer.

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6. Banana
Not only are you causing serious emotional damage by putting your dog in a banana suit, you're running the very real risk of him being kidnapped by roves of monkeys. Don't say we didn't warn you.

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I'm dressing Charlie as a magic shell sundae as we speak, laine my friend.

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