Ron Jeremy Rum Owner Explains Product: "Captain Morgan has one leg, Ron de Jeremy has Three"

Categories: Rants
Ron With Bottles.jpg
Jatinder Channa
Want Rum De Jeremy to penetrate your local liquor market? Let the staff at One Eyed Spirits know at

"It all started as a joke," said Jouko Laune and Olli Hietalahti, friends and owners of One Eyed Spirits. Both Laune and Hietalaht, Finland natives, were in the ad business before leaving the industry to start a rum company with The Guinness Book of World Records holder for the
most appearances in adult films.

"Ron actually means rum in Spanish," they told me smiling, as customers sampled shots poured by a big-breasted blonde in a skin-tight dress. "It made sense to go with him."

Admittedly, I was hesitant to try any liquid branding the name of someone who ejaculates for a living. And the promotional flier, "Meet the legend. Taste his rum," didn't help to ease my concern of what exactly his rum was. But after some coercion, I tried the smooth, Panamanian spirit. Aged for seven years, it has a surprisingly good amount of spice and flavor for something sporting the face of a man who's starred in films like, "Blowjob Adventures of Dr. Fellatio" and "Generally Horny Hospital." It wasn't all that bad.

Ron Jeremy.jpg
Jatinder Channa
The spiced rum, in a longer, slimmer bottle, isn't yet available in the country, but it should be in stores with the aged rum in the coming weeks. "People are really enjoying the spiced version," said Hietalahti. And when asked why I should switch to theirs over my normal choice, Captain Morgan, Laune reminded me, "Captain Morgan has one leg, Ron de Jeremy has three."

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My Voice Nation Help

This article was in the Miami New Times earlier in the week. Don't you guys coordinate these things?

Daniel Dickey
Daniel Dickey

Yeah, I made sure we waited exactly one week before writing about it.

Daniel Dickey
Daniel Dickey

That's so random I was just looking for a terrible website to visit! Thanks for coming through.

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