Alton Brown Writes a Fanifesto: His Guidelines for Fans
|Alton Brown will not sing "Happy Birthday" on tape -- is he tone-deaf?|
In the Fanifesto, Brown says that he's different from a real star like George Clooney (in many ways). You wouldn't waltz up to Clooney and expect him to make a YouTube video singing "Happy Birthday" to your grandmother in Kalamazoo. But you would with a D-lister like Brown.
The making of a birthday video, by the way, is off-limits to Brown (we guess that he does, somewhere, have some sense of pride).
Also off-limits, according to the Fanifesto, is talking to Brown while you're both in a public restroom, asking him to talk to someone on the phone, taking cell phone pictures (because no one but you knows how to work a cell phone camera), blocking his path (his lizard brain will kick in), and taking pictures of his family (who didn't sign up for the fame game and are still considered average citizens like you and me).
What can you do with/to Alton Brown? Apparently, a lot.
You can take a picture with him, ask him to autograph anything but your body or your hamster, make a fan website devoted to him (creepy), draw him a picture, or bake him a nice pie. However if you ask him for $12 for the pie, you'll probably get stiffed because he rarely carries cash. Our advice? Bill him via PayPal.
Read the Fanifesto for yourself here.
Follow Clean Plate Charlie on Facebook and on Twitter.