Anti-Abortion Fiesta! Menu Suggestions

By Victoria Bekiempis Tue., Aug. 2 2011 at 8:37 AM

Categories: Food Fun

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Party animal?

A woman's work is never done, so they say. And if you're Gov. Rick Scott's kind of gal, you might be even busier these next few days planning your own anti-abortion house party. Indeed, what better way to connect with neighborhood right-to-lifers than a casual shindig, celebrating four new laws that make it even harder for women to access abortion?

And while planning a menu that's both kid-friendly and pastor-approved is stressful enough, you also have to think hard about what kind of foods go with a sanctity-of-life theme (jalapeño cheese poppers) and what dishes don't (deviled eggs.)

Clean Plate Charlie wants to help you avoid these faux pas so that you can focus on more important (and fun) things, like hanging Gloria Steinem pinatas and blending virgin margaritas. So check out three foods not to serve at an anti-abortion party.

Venison

Never has there been a better celebration of new life than the Disney classic Bambi. Sure, the young, saucer-eyed doe winds up an orphan when a hunter kills his mom, but any learned conservative will tell you: God gave man dominion over the fish and fowl, which is how we get delicious deer meat in the first place. If you do serve venison, however holy it is, liberals can and will use this part of the plot to complain about everything involving women and children's health -- from the plight of young, single mothers to Gov. Scott's cuts to social services.

Veal Tartare

Funny thing about iron-deprived baby cows: They're almost too tender to eat. Almost. Even better than a nice, hot, saucy plate of osso buco, though, is a chilled heap of raw veal meat. The only problem neocons might have with uncooked calf flesh: It's from a bovine infant, which could be perceived as somewhat less than right-to-life-y.

Balut

This Filipino specialty consists of a fertilized duck embryo. What else can be said?

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