Putting the Whoop in Whoopie: Aphrodisiac Foods for Valentines
Not that you would need them, of course. But your friend might.
Chocolate. Believers in the lustful properties of chocolate range from the GFs of Sex and the City to the ancient Aztecs. In fact, Montezuma, that rockin' ruler, was said to drink up to 50 cups of chocolate a day to better satisfy his harem of 600 (!) women, which makes you wonder why Hershey isn't producing Viagra.
Honey. A lot of historical evidence here too. Hippocrates allegedly prescribed honey to sweeten up Athenians' love lives. And Attila the Hun, not exactly a sweetheart of a guy, was said to have drunk himself to death on the stuff not long after his marriage, giving new meaning to the word "honeymoon."
Lentils. Lentils? Yes, lentils. Old Hippocrates, who apparently had sex on the brain, also recommended these humble legumes to keep lead in manly pencils. Aristotle supposedly did too. Ditto the ancient Egyptians, perhaps one reason why ancient Egyptian women sent their menfolk off to build all those pyramids.
Avocados. Going back to 200 B.C., the Aztecs called the avocado "ahuacuatl," which translates as "testicle tree" for two fairly obvious reasons, and thought its soft, creamy flesh had just the opposite effect on their own. Interestingly, "avocado" resembles the word for "lawyer" in French and Italian, though its true translation is probably "prick."
Bananas. If oysters are suggestive of female anatomy, this tropical fruit is equally suggestive of "the package." An Islamic tale indicates that Adam and Eve covered their naughty parts with banana leaves rather than fig leaves, likely giving rise to the saying, "Is that a banana in your pants or are you just glad to see me?"
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