Five Ways to Keep Your New Year's Resolutions

Categories: The List
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Cheers!
New Year's resolutions - nearly everyone makes them and hardly anyone keeps them.  Sure, it's a great idea, after six vodka and cranberries at the New Year's Eve party's open bar, to say you're going to lose those ten extra pounds on your ass or find a job and move out of your parent's spare bedroom in Tamarac, but come January 1st you're faced with a monumental hangover and that stupid resolution...and they both equal one big headache.
 
New Year's resolutions aren't  really all that difficult to keep - you just have to "tweak" them a bit (having low expectations doesn't hurt, either).  We've taken the most popular New Year's resolutions and given you suggestions on how to keep them.
 
1. Quit Smoking  
So you decided to quit smoking for the New Year but it's 2:00 pm on January 1st and you're craving a cigarette.  Instead of smoking, let a pig smoke for you.  Head out to Tom Jenkin's Bar-B-Q and breathe in the aroma of smoked pork.  Hunker down with a slab of baby back ribs and some collard greens and put that oral fixation to better use.
Tom Jenkin's Bar-B-Q 1236 S Federal Hwy, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33316 (954) 522-5046
 
2. Quit Drinking 
Coconut water has been touted as the new Gatorade, the best remedy for detoxification and is actually the only natural substance that can be used intravenously for dehydration (but don't shoot up the coconut water, please).  According to Zico, their coconut water has the potassium of five bananas, five essential electrolytes and zero fat and sugar. Instead of reaching for that can of Fruit Punch Four Loko, try a nice tall glass of ice cold coconut water. 
 
3. Save Money
Let's face it, eating and drinking costs a lot of money.  You can only steal your co-worker's Lean Cuisine a few times before they catch on.  Hell, even ramen noodles cost about 30 cents these days. If you've always wanted to be a spy and you don't mind where you eat or drink, try being a secret shopper.  Since companies are often paranoid about their employees stealing or giving away extra bread to customers, many of them hire secret shoppers to eat or drink at their restaurant and report back.  Assignments range from  pizza delivery to high-end lounges.  The drawback?  You have to shell out the tab until you get reimbursed and the forms to fill out can be time-consuming.  There are some scam companies out there, so check with the Mystery Shopping Providers Association for a list of secret shopping companies to contact.
 
4. Be More Spiritual 
This Sunday, worship at the church of sequins and channel your inner God (uh, Goddess) at LIPS Sunday morning Gospel brunch.  It's your typical Sunday Gospel Brunch, filled with eggs, songs praising Jesus and...drag queens!   $16.50 (plus a $5.00 show cover) gets you a complimentary Bloody Mary or Mimosa and your choice of brunch entree. Next time mom calls, you can honestly tell her you found Jesus - just don't tell her he was wearing fishnets.
LIPS 1421 E Oakland Park Blvd, Oakland Park, FL 33334 (954) 567-0987
 
5. Lose Weight 
Put down the greasy extra value meal and eat something good for you!  According to The Mayo Clinic, people who eat a raw food diet, generally weigh less than people who eat mostly processed foods because raw fruits and vegetables are generally very low in calories. Try a raw food "cheeseburger", made with nuts and spices on onion bread or anything else from The Green Wave Cafe's menu.  What's that sound?  It's your colon thanking you.
The Green Wave Cafe 5221 W Broward Blvd, Plantation, FL  33317 (954) 581-8377

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2 comments
Jack
Jack

I found a way to keep my resolutions after all. Thanks!

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